1
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:17,299
Hello.
2
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,531
I'm sorry.
I had to go, okay?
3
00:01:20,532 --> 00:01:22,531
Because I have to introduce
the ten stories.
4
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,065
I told you this before.
5
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:25,765
We'll talk about this
when you get home, all right?
6
00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:27,132
I'm late enough
as it is.
7
00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:29,032
Ten commandments,
ten stories, all right?
8
00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:30,165
You knew what you
were getting into
9
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:31,165
When you married me.
10
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:33,299
This is what I do.
11
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,765
Hello?
12
00:01:34,766 --> 00:01:36,199
Hello?
13
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,232
Unbelievable.
14
00:01:44,766 --> 00:01:47,565
Hi, I'm Jeff Reigert.
15
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:48,798
Okay, good.
16
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:51,732
So I've got the ten commandments
over there,
17
00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,431
And I'm gonna give you
ten stories.
18
00:01:53,432 --> 00:01:56,065
Each one of them correlates
to one of the commandments.
19
00:01:56,066 --> 00:01:58,431
So let's get right into it.
20
00:01:58,432 --> 00:02:00,598
Sorry I was late,
by the way.
21
00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:03,698
Long story short,
my wife--
22
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:06,398
You know, I'm not
gonna go into this.
23
00:02:06,399 --> 00:02:07,798
All right,
long story short,
24
00:02:07,799 --> 00:02:09,531
My wife and I
were at Bed Bath and Beyond.
25
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:10,865
We'd agreed
to go in beforehand
26
00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,899
Because she wanted to buy
a hand blender and leave.
27
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,332
I mean, we weren't gonna make
a big day shopping, because--
28
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:16,999
You know what?
I'm not gonna get into this.
29
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,299
This is just gonna get me
really upset.
30
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:24,032
And besides, you didn't--
you didn't come here
31
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,999
To listen to my shit,
all right?
32
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,598
I came here to give you
these ten stories,
33
00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,365
And we're already running
a little bit late,
34
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:32,165
So why don't we just
do it to it, right?
35
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:34,832
Let's get this party
started.
36
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,832
Story number one.
37
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,498
Okay,
is it on?
38
00:02:49,499 --> 00:02:51,299
Hey, everybody,
it's me, Stephen,
39
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,431
Logging my first-ever
solo jump!
40
00:02:53,432 --> 00:02:54,999
are you nervous?
41
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,398
Nah, are you joking,
Kelly?
42
00:02:56,399 --> 00:02:58,865
I'm more nervous
about us getting married.
43
00:02:58,866 --> 00:02:59,965
Bring it on!
44
00:02:59,966 --> 00:03:01,765
aw, you're nervous!
45
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:02,765
Wow!
46
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,865
Look at how high up
we are!
47
00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:08,132
It's like that line
from the movie titanic.
48
00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:10,999
"I want you to draw me
like one of your French girls,
49
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,698
"wearing this,
50
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,798
Wearing only this."
51
00:03:14,799 --> 00:03:16,765
Okay, let's do it
to it.
52
00:03:16,766 --> 00:03:18,965
Let's get this party
started.
53
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,099
Whoo!
54
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,132
Uh, excuse me.
55
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:24,431
Forgot his chute.
56
00:03:24,432 --> 00:03:26,899
please tell me you're goofing.
57
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,765
No, I don't goof.
58
00:03:28,766 --> 00:03:31,965
Oh, god!
Stephen!
59
00:03:31,966 --> 00:03:33,331
Stephen!
60
00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:35,999
Stephen,
oh, my god!
61
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,199
Are you okay?
62
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,032
Oh, god!
63
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:40,598
Are you okay?
64
00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:41,999
No, not really.
65
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:49,632
his vitals
are all okay.
66
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:52,899
But his body is so deeply
embedded into the ground
67
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,765
That any movement at all
68
00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:57,065
Would kill him.
69
00:03:57,066 --> 00:03:58,398
Well, what am I
supposed to do?
70
00:03:58,399 --> 00:03:59,498
I mean, just--
71
00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:01,698
Just leave my fiance
here in the ground?
72
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,166
Yes.
73
00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:05,331
But other than that,
I suggest that you both try
74
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,765
To go about
your normal routine.
75
00:04:07,766 --> 00:04:08,765
Okay?
76
00:04:08,766 --> 00:04:11,565
We good?
77
00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:13,232
Stay out
of the sun.
78
00:04:15,966 --> 00:04:19,099
Ooh, you know what
would be fun for us, hon?
79
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,065
There's a jazz show
coming to town tomorrow,
80
00:04:21,066 --> 00:04:22,965
And we could--
81
00:04:22,966 --> 00:04:24,565
Never mind.
82
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:26,298
Sorry, what'd you say?
83
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,398
Nothing.
84
00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:28,765
I said,
"how's it going, babe?"
85
00:04:28,766 --> 00:04:30,865
Awful,
86
00:04:30,866 --> 00:04:32,166
Fucking awful.
87
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:34,365
Okay, we're live
in 30 seconds, Louis.
88
00:04:34,366 --> 00:04:36,066
How are the wedding plans
coming, by the way?
89
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,132
Good.
90
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,832
Yeah, we were gonna
get married
91
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:40,632
At my parents' beach house
in--in Bar Harbor--
92
00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:41,832
Oh, god,
I love Bar Harbor.
93
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,999
I know.
It's so nice.
94
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,365
But now it looks like
it's gonna be happening here.
95
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,365
Uh-huh.
96
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:50,532
Yeah, he'll be,
you know, there,
97
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:52,231
And I'll be--
98
00:04:52,232 --> 00:04:56,432
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry.
99
00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:58,398
Shh, shh, shh.
No, no, no. It's okay.
100
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,066
It's okay.
101
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,799
God, you smell good.
102
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,066
Is that
coffee breath?
103
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,598
Okay, in five,
four...
104
00:05:04,599 --> 00:05:05,598
Tell me later.
105
00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:06,598
Three, two--
106
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:08,865
Thanks, Jim.
107
00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:11,932
I'm here in a field
outside of Holmesdale,
108
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:14,965
Where Stephen Montgomery
has been stuck here
109
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,699
In the ground
for the past two months.
110
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:17,865
I'm sure you're aware
111
00:05:17,866 --> 00:05:20,231
That you've become
quite a sensation,
112
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,166
A hero of sorts.
113
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:23,665
You have any words
of wisdom
114
00:05:23,666 --> 00:05:25,965
For your growing
group of fans?
115
00:05:25,966 --> 00:05:28,298
No, not really.
116
00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:29,899
No, not really.
117
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,066
He's a man of few words
but many followers,
118
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,932
Whether it be the kids
that line up day and night
119
00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:37,732
To catch a glimpse of him
120
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:39,498
Or 12-year-old Dorothy Sheen,
121
00:05:39,499 --> 00:05:41,099
Whose Halloween costume
this year
122
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,732
Is just a little bit
underground.
123
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:45,231
I'm Stephen Montgomery.
124
00:05:45,232 --> 00:05:46,732
If you move me,
I'll die.
125
00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:49,732
Even Governor Hutchins
was catching Montgomery fever.
126
00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:51,532
We're gonna do
to unemployment
127
00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:54,565
What Stephen Montgomery
did to his body.
128
00:05:54,566 --> 00:05:56,432
We're gonna bury it
in the ground
129
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:59,598
And make sure
it doesn't move.
130
00:05:59,599 --> 00:06:02,231
I'm gonna give it
to you straight, kid,
131
00:06:02,232 --> 00:06:03,965
Because that's my style.
132
00:06:03,966 --> 00:06:05,598
You're not funny.
133
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,066
Your act is stale.
134
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,131
You will never make it
in this town.
135
00:06:09,132 --> 00:06:11,265
Now, get out
of my office.
136
00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:16,198
How do people like that
get in here?
137
00:06:16,199 --> 00:06:17,498
She said she had
an appointment.
138
00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:19,598
It won't happen again.
Better not.
139
00:06:19,599 --> 00:06:23,398
Sir, Stephen Montgomery
on line one.
140
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:24,398
Stephen,
141
00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:25,765
Fielding Barnes.
142
00:06:25,766 --> 00:06:26,932
I want to make you
a TV star.
143
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:27,932
What do you say?
144
00:06:35,499 --> 00:06:37,165
Don't you knock, Fred?
145
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,865
I would, but if I knock
like everybody else,
146
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,032
How would you know
it's me?
147
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,032
Where's Stephen?
148
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:43,765
Right here
where he always is.
149
00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:46,032
hey, Stephen.
150
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:48,532
I got two tickets
to the world series.
151
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,565
You want to go?
152
00:06:49,566 --> 00:06:51,599
No, not really.
153
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,865
Why not?
154
00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:55,699
Because I can't move,
Fred.
155
00:06:56,866 --> 00:07:00,198
And if I did,
I'd most likely die.
156
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,432
firm in the ground.
157
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,665
turning around.
158
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,198
159
00:07:09,199 --> 00:07:12,899
to town,
160
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,565
no shaking it.
161
00:07:15,566 --> 00:07:16,899
we're all dying to know,
162
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,165
does your character
ever get it on with Carol?
163
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:23,465
Look, I don't want to give
too much away here.
164
00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:25,198
But I will say this:
165
00:07:25,199 --> 00:07:27,365
Probably not,
for obvious reasons.
166
00:07:27,366 --> 00:07:31,198
and head in the clouds.
167
00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:32,732
168
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,999
169
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,265
Two years ago, I didn't have
a chance in this industry.
170
00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:38,599
When the Montgomery show hit,
171
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,265
Every agent in town
called me.
172
00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:42,732
The world just
kind of takes you on a ride.
173
00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:43,765
You just sit back.
174
00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:45,198
I mean, I have to.
175
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,732
Can't really move.
176
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,232
177
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,999
firm in the ground.
178
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,732
179
00:07:51,733 --> 00:07:53,665
I just started to use
this instrument right here.
180
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:55,031
I'm a trailblazer,
biatch.
181
00:07:55,032 --> 00:07:56,932
I don't even want to think
what my torso could do.
182
00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,365
I think it's pretty safe to say
I'm the Marlon Brando of heads.
183
00:07:59,366 --> 00:08:01,732
America loves
my shit, dog.
184
00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:03,031
Stephen Montgomery:
185
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:04,832
Hero, superstar,
186
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,699
God.
187
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:07,866
This just in:
188
00:08:07,867 --> 00:08:10,832
Tragedy strikes in Texas
as a group of teens
189
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,599
Intentionally jumps out
of a plane without parachutes.
190
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,232
Obviously a copycat incident,
191
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,932
They were imitating the man
they worshipped as a god,
192
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,198
Stephen Montgomery.
193
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,031
Details and reaction
at 11:00.
194
00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:22,832
turn that shit off!
195
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:24,732
Stephen,
what is going on here?
196
00:08:24,733 --> 00:08:25,932
Who are
all these people?
197
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,365
Kelly, it's not
what you think.
198
00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:29,031
How's it going,
baby?
199
00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:30,098
Kelly,
wait a second.
200
00:08:30,099 --> 00:08:31,198
Kelly, wait!
201
00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:32,198
Wait!
202
00:08:32,199 --> 00:08:33,565
Ah!
203
00:08:33,566 --> 00:08:34,665
I can't move!
204
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:37,098
Damn it,
I can't move!
205
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,432
Oh!
206
00:08:39,433 --> 00:08:40,398
Ahh!
207
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,232
I think I'm allergic
to shrimp.
208
00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:50,799
Louis!
209
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:51,799
Louis.
210
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:52,799
Kelly?
211
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,799
I have no one
to turn to.
212
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,465
Shh.
213
00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:57,465
Look, it's okay.
214
00:08:57,466 --> 00:08:59,132
Listen to me.
215
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,732
I'm gonna take care
of you now.
216
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,098
Really?
217
00:09:02,099 --> 00:09:03,632
Sure.
218
00:09:03,633 --> 00:09:05,298
Come on.
219
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:10,398
into the heavens.
220
00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:14,765
beyond the sky.
221
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,265
okay, going up
in five...
222
00:09:16,266 --> 00:09:17,265
Look out.
223
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,599
Four, three...
224
00:09:20,867 --> 00:09:22,532
What does a monkey
at the zoo
225
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:24,398
Have in common
with a fig newton?
226
00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:25,665
Nothing, right?
227
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,065
Think again.
228
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,432
They're both
sometimes brown.
229
00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,766
Stephen, I have bad news.
230
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,732
The show's cancelled.
231
00:09:33,733 --> 00:09:35,365
The ratings
have been slipping,
232
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,065
And your offscreen antics
in the tabloids
233
00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:38,098
Haven't been helping.
234
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,799
I thought she was 18.
235
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,699
Doesn't matter, Stephen.
She was your niece.
236
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:42,965
I thought
she was once removed.
237
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:44,565
Doesn't matter,
Stephen.
238
00:09:44,566 --> 00:09:45,931
You had sex with her.
239
00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:48,198
I thought
I was fingering her.
240
00:09:48,199 --> 00:09:49,766
It feels the same
to her.
241
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:50,931
Don't you get it,
Stephen?
242
00:09:50,932 --> 00:09:52,198
Well, then,
shit, fielding.
243
00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:54,198
Get me another jo--what have you
got lined up for me?
244
00:09:54,199 --> 00:09:56,365
I've got nothing,
Stephen.
245
00:09:56,366 --> 00:09:58,365
Let's face it.
246
00:09:58,366 --> 00:09:59,732
The majority of jobs
are for actors
247
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,265
Who can get off the floor
without dying.
248
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:03,931
I--Stephen,
I don't make the rules.
249
00:10:03,932 --> 00:10:05,998
That's the climate
of the marketplace these days.
250
00:10:05,999 --> 00:10:07,532
I--I--I got to get this.
251
00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:08,632
I got--hello!
252
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:09,832
Johnny Frankel,
253
00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:11,766
My favorite client,
who's stuck in an elevator.
254
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:12,866
What's up, man?
255
00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:14,465
But listen,
you got to decide quickly,
256
00:10:14,466 --> 00:10:16,031
Because at the end
of the day,
257
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,632
Let's not jerk
each other off here.
258
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:19,766
You're not going to be stuck
on that elevator forever.
259
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,699
You know that.
260
00:10:30,166 --> 00:10:32,766
What happened
to Stephen Montgomery?
261
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,032
For the past
three years,
262
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,432
Stephen has stayed
out of the limelight,
263
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,532
Choosing a quiet life
264
00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:41,832
Stuck in the ground--
always.
265
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,799
I used
to like him,
266
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,432
And now
I hate him.
267
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:46,766
Wow.
268
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,332
Thank you so much,
Louis.
269
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,132
And that's all the news
for tonight.
270
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:51,298
I'm Bream Benson.
271
00:10:51,299 --> 00:10:52,931
And I'm Jim Stansel.
Good night.
272
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,098
See how that works?
273
00:11:01,099 --> 00:11:03,298
That was the first one,
and now we have nine more,
274
00:11:03,299 --> 00:11:04,699
The total being ten.
275
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,232
And you know
what ten is.
276
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,265
Ten is.
277
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,265
Tennis?
278
00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:09,898
Tennis, anyone?
279
00:11:09,899 --> 00:11:11,399
It's like I can't even
reserve a court
280
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,265
Unless it's
a holiday weekend.
281
00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:15,499
Anyway, let's do
the second story, shall we?
282
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,865
No, no, don't help me
or anything.
283
00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:19,599
Oh, I--I didn't know
you were here.
284
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,799
Of course
you didn't.
285
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,565
God forbid you notice
anybody but yourself.
286
00:11:22,566 --> 00:11:23,565
Gretchen--
287
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:24,898
Jeff, don't test me
today, okay?
288
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:25,931
You will lose.
289
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:29,532
Did you see that?
290
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:30,532
Am I crazy?
291
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:31,831
I didn't know
she was here.
292
00:11:31,832 --> 00:11:33,766
God, she's getting to the point
where, literally,
293
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,766
There isn't a thing
that I can do that's--
294
00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:37,831
We used to talk about
how we'd never fight like that.
295
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:39,232
We used to laugh
at those people.
296
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,766
I would break a blood vessel,
I would laugh so hard.
297
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,399
You know how they say
laughter's the best medicine?
298
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,599
No, I would need medicine
299
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,198
To put on my broken
blood vessel.
300
00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:49,132
That's how hard
I was laughing.
301
00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:50,565
It was
a topical ointment.
302
00:11:50,566 --> 00:11:51,998
I don't remember
what it was called.
303
00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:53,132
It's been so many years
304
00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:54,998
Since I laughed so hard
and broke a blood vessel
305
00:11:54,999 --> 00:11:56,898
That I would even need
the ointment.
306
00:11:56,899 --> 00:11:58,065
I'm sorry.
307
00:11:58,066 --> 00:11:59,599
I don't mean to burden you
with this--
308
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,666
Oxydine Three.
309
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:03,532
Oxydine Three, that's what--
that was what--
310
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,232
The name
of the ointment.
311
00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:07,399
Anyway, let's get back
to our ten stories.
312
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,965
Here we go
with number two,
313
00:12:08,966 --> 00:12:11,766
The duck,
the deuce,
314
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,265
Number two.
315
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,032
Poop.
316
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,831
Hola.
317
00:12:40,832 --> 00:12:42,465
Como esta?
318
00:12:42,466 --> 00:12:46,432
Estoy bien.
319
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,798
Hola.
320
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:49,532
Como esta?
321
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:51,932
Estoy bien.
322
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:53,865
Estoy bien.
323
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:03,865
Te quiero,
mi amor.
324
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:04,865
Brushing up
on your spanish?
325
00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:06,831
Yes.
Wait a minute.
326
00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:07,831
Si.
327
00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:09,798
Ooh, that was
very good.
328
00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:10,932
Sounds just like
my nanny.
329
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:12,265
Gracias.
330
00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:14,399
Mm-mm,
that wasn't as good.
331
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,831
You had me
at "si,"
332
00:13:15,832 --> 00:13:17,731
But then you lost me
at "gracias."
333
00:13:17,732 --> 00:13:18,965
Anyway, I want you
to meet Tony.
334
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,299
He's gonna be
filling in for you
335
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,566
While you're in Mejico
all summer.
336
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:23,566
Very good, Oliver.
337
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:24,998
You used
the native pronunciation,
338
00:13:24,999 --> 00:13:27,065
Which includes the "x"
having an "h" sound.
339
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:28,232
Mejico.
340
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,365
See how much fun
we have together, Gloria?
341
00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:31,898
When are you gonna
get over yourself
342
00:13:31,899 --> 00:13:33,132
And go out with me
already?
343
00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,199
I wish I felt that way,
but I don't.
344
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,731
Well, you can't blame a gal
for trying every day
345
00:13:38,732 --> 00:13:40,199
For five years.
346
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,765
At any rate,
I want you to meet Tony,
347
00:13:41,766 --> 00:13:43,365
Your temporary
replacement.
348
00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:44,432
Hey,
how's it going?
349
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:46,998
Oh, didn't see you there.
350
00:13:46,999 --> 00:13:48,432
Oh.
351
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:49,432
Hello.
352
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:50,499
Sorry,
is that better?
353
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,698
Much.
354
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:53,199
Yeah.
355
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,665
Well, the filing system
is over here.
356
00:13:54,666 --> 00:13:56,232
I've written down
the instructions
357
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:57,365
For the voice mail
here.
358
00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:59,165
And if you need anything,
you can call me--
359
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:00,499
Gloria, relax.
360
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,265
Take your vacation.
361
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:03,698
Go wild.
Have fun.
362
00:14:03,699 --> 00:14:05,098
Tony can handle things.
363
00:14:05,099 --> 00:14:06,365
Right, Tony?
364
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:07,731
Yup.
365
00:14:12,099 --> 00:14:14,065
Maybe you're right.
366
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,631
Gracias.
367
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,132
I--
368
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:05,132
Yes?
369
00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:07,566
I want to--
370
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:08,731
Yes?
371
00:15:08,732 --> 00:15:11,099
I want to...
372
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,532
Fuck your tits.
373
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,532
Yes?
374
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:14,965
No, no.
375
00:15:14,966 --> 00:15:17,132
I don't think that's
what you're trying to say.
376
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,199
One moment.
377
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,665
One--one moment.
378
00:15:39,599 --> 00:15:41,765
guerita, guerita,
379
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,099
Try these.
380
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,199
Very juicy.
381
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,732
Gracias.
382
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,332
Hey, senorita!
383
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:25,366
Tres pesos
for the mango!
384
00:16:31,066 --> 00:16:32,832
Gloria.
385
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,765
Gracias, Alfonzo,
but...
386
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,698
Yo estoy tired
387
00:16:43,699 --> 00:16:44,898
From el air-o plane-o.
388
00:16:44,899 --> 00:16:45,832
Mm.
389
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,366
Gloria,
390
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,965
This is Jesus.
391
00:17:17,799 --> 00:17:19,265
Nice to meet you.
392
00:17:25,666 --> 00:17:27,598
Delighted.
393
00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:14,399
The Fire.
394
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,332
395
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:19,431
The Fire
396
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,332
397
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,965
The Fire.
398
00:18:23,966 --> 00:18:26,465
399
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:28,899
The Fire
400
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,299
401
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,698
The Fire.
402
00:18:33,699 --> 00:18:36,232
403
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:38,899
The Fire.
404
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:42,165
Oh, Jesus.
405
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:00,465
No, no, no.
406
00:20:09,432 --> 00:20:10,865
Gloria...
407
00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:31,765
Yeah, si, Pero...
408
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,099
Okay.
409
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:45,265
Wow.
410
00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,032
Hey, hey!
411
00:22:43,166 --> 00:22:45,699
and this we pray to you,
our Lord and Savior,
412
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,532
Jesus Christ.
413
00:22:49,967 --> 00:22:51,131
Oh, Oliver.
414
00:22:51,132 --> 00:22:52,465
Yes, Oliver.
415
00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:53,565
Oh, yeah.
416
00:22:53,566 --> 00:22:55,265
Oh, Jesus.
417
00:22:55,266 --> 00:22:57,231
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
418
00:22:57,232 --> 00:22:58,732
Who the hell
is this Jesus guy?
419
00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:00,465
Nobody, Oliver.
420
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,465
Don't overreact.
421
00:23:01,466 --> 00:23:03,231
I'm not overreacting.
422
00:23:03,232 --> 00:23:04,332
I mean, how would you
like it
423
00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:05,865
If I yelled out
Patricia's name
424
00:23:05,866 --> 00:23:07,298
In the middle of sex?
425
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:25,632
Nine...
426
00:23:25,633 --> 00:23:28,532
Ten.
427
00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:29,565
Sorry about that.
428
00:23:29,566 --> 00:23:31,165
I'm a bit
of a health fiend.
429
00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:32,865
Since when
do you exercise?
430
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:33,966
What are you
talking about?
431
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,131
I found this
downstairs.
432
00:23:35,132 --> 00:23:36,732
I thought I'd give my pecs
a little juice.
433
00:23:36,733 --> 00:23:38,899
Give your pecs
a little juice?
434
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,265
What?
Juicing my pecs.
435
00:23:40,266 --> 00:23:41,765
I don't know.
436
00:23:41,766 --> 00:23:43,899
Something you're not telling me
about the pec juice.
437
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,365
W--w--what
do you think, Gretchen?
438
00:23:45,366 --> 00:23:46,732
I'm screwing around
on you?
439
00:23:46,733 --> 00:23:47,832
Oh, wait, no.
Let me guess.
440
00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:49,098
I met some girl
at a coffee shop,
441
00:23:49,099 --> 00:23:51,532
And we made jokes about
the little cardboard things
442
00:23:51,533 --> 00:23:53,365
You put over a cup
so you don't burn your hands,
443
00:23:53,366 --> 00:23:55,699
And then we went out to my car,
and I screwed her twice?
444
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,599
I wasn't saying
that at all.
445
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,165
Well, then can I--
446
00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:00,899
Oh, please,
do your thing.
447
00:24:03,033 --> 00:24:04,799
Jeez, you hear that,
guys?
448
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:05,899
Questioning
my pec juice.
449
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:07,832
My pec juice.
450
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:09,298
Sorry, I didn't mean
to get off track.
451
00:24:09,299 --> 00:24:10,465
Where--
452
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:11,565
Oh, yeah,
that's right.
453
00:24:11,566 --> 00:24:13,165
Here's the third story.
454
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,265
Scalpel.
455
00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:30,632
Scalpel.
456
00:24:31,933 --> 00:24:33,031
forceps.
457
00:24:33,032 --> 00:24:34,732
Forceps.
458
00:24:40,433 --> 00:24:42,065
Gesundheit.
Thank you.
459
00:24:43,433 --> 00:24:44,866
Grover Shepherd scissors.
460
00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:46,232
Grover Shepherd scissors.
461
00:24:50,533 --> 00:24:52,198
Okay,
sew her up.
462
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,498
Good work,
Dr. Richie.
463
00:24:53,499 --> 00:24:55,165
Thanks, Nancy.
464
00:24:55,166 --> 00:24:56,565
Ooh!
465
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,932
Oh, it hurts!
Oh! Every time I move!
466
00:25:04,933 --> 00:25:06,332
You're gonna be okay.
467
00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:08,432
Hey, hey, hey, sounds like
there's a cougar in here.
468
00:25:08,433 --> 00:25:09,532
How we doing today?
469
00:25:09,533 --> 00:25:11,031
Thank god you're here,
Dr. Richie.
470
00:25:11,032 --> 00:25:12,532
She's been in horrible pain
like this since the operation.
471
00:25:12,533 --> 00:25:13,665
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
472
00:25:13,666 --> 00:25:14,899
Oh, yeah,
I'm sure she has been.
473
00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:16,131
Here, come take a look.
474
00:25:16,132 --> 00:25:17,065
Okay.
475
00:25:20,733 --> 00:25:21,966
See this?
476
00:25:21,967 --> 00:25:23,765
This is Sheila
one hour post-op.
477
00:25:23,766 --> 00:25:25,998
And it's
my educated guess
478
00:25:25,999 --> 00:25:27,532
That the sharp
cutting blades
479
00:25:27,533 --> 00:25:29,165
Of the Grover Shepherd
medical scissors
480
00:25:29,166 --> 00:25:32,532
Is what's causing
most of the pain.
481
00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:34,899
You left a pair of scissors
inside of my wife?
482
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,998
Yes, that's correct.
483
00:25:37,999 --> 00:25:39,465
How can you make
a mistake like that?
484
00:25:39,466 --> 00:25:41,065
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, it wasn't a mistake.
485
00:25:41,066 --> 00:25:42,565
I did it as a goof.
486
00:25:42,566 --> 00:25:43,565
You goofed?
487
00:25:43,566 --> 00:25:46,198
No, no, no.
Relax.
488
00:25:46,199 --> 00:25:47,198
As a goof.
489
00:25:47,199 --> 00:25:48,365
I did it
as a goof.
490
00:25:48,366 --> 00:25:49,599
I-I-I don't get it.
491
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,432
Well, clearly,
you just don't know me.
492
00:25:51,433 --> 00:25:52,699
I goof a lot.
493
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:54,232
My friends know
494
00:25:54,233 --> 00:25:55,765
That at least
half the time,
495
00:25:55,766 --> 00:25:56,899
I am goofing.
496
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,031
The thing is,
497
00:25:58,032 --> 00:25:59,899
You need to understand
my sense of humor.
498
00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:00,899
I think that's it.
499
00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:02,599
Nancy,
you were here
500
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,031
When I was operating
on this woman.
501
00:26:04,032 --> 00:26:05,732
I dropped the scissors
in her belly.
502
00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:07,332
Why did I do that?
503
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:10,499
If I remember correctly,
you did it as a goof.
504
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:11,532
Satisfied?
Is there anything else--
505
00:26:11,533 --> 00:26:13,332
Listen,
you son of a bitch.
506
00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:16,098
I want you to get that thing
out of my wife's stomach now!
507
00:26:18,666 --> 00:26:20,065
Sheila?
508
00:26:20,066 --> 00:26:21,065
Baby?
509
00:26:21,066 --> 00:26:22,565
Oh, she's dead.
510
00:26:22,566 --> 00:26:23,565
What?
511
00:26:23,566 --> 00:26:25,031
Wait,
is this a goof?
512
00:26:25,032 --> 00:26:26,031
Is this--
513
00:26:26,032 --> 00:26:27,332
No, she's dead.
514
00:26:27,333 --> 00:26:28,532
Do you still want me
515
00:26:28,533 --> 00:26:30,065
To take the scissors out--
mm, probably not.
516
00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:31,599
You murdered
my wife!
517
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,699
Hey, guy,
as a goof,
518
00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,065
Guy,
as a goof.
519
00:26:36,066 --> 00:26:37,298
You know what?
520
00:26:37,299 --> 00:26:39,665
You're bad vibes.
I got to blow.
521
00:26:39,666 --> 00:26:41,931
Man, it's not
rocket science.
522
00:26:45,366 --> 00:26:47,399
So let me
get this straight.
523
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,265
You're saying you dropped
a surgical instrument
524
00:26:51,266 --> 00:26:55,699
Into Mrs. Contiella's body
knowingly and deliberately.
525
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:58,499
I have been
an exemplary surgeon
526
00:26:58,500 --> 00:26:59,998
For the last 20 years,
a good citizen,
527
00:26:59,999 --> 00:27:01,732
A father,
a family man,
528
00:27:01,733 --> 00:27:02,931
A husband.
529
00:27:06,767 --> 00:27:08,332
Did you deliberately
530
00:27:08,333 --> 00:27:10,832
put the scissors
into Mrs. Contiella's body?
531
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,665
I would never,
under any circumstances,
532
00:27:12,666 --> 00:27:14,432
Do anything
to harm a patient
533
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:15,898
unless I was doing it
as a goof.
534
00:27:15,899 --> 00:27:17,599
Did you put
the scissors in?
535
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,665
I am a practicing
physician, sir.
536
00:27:18,666 --> 00:27:19,665
Did you put
the scissors in?
537
00:27:19,666 --> 00:27:21,332
For the last
20 years--
538
00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,332
Did you put
the scissors in?
539
00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:23,766
I am not gonna entertain--
540
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:25,065
Did you put
the scissors in?
541
00:27:25,066 --> 00:27:27,732
As a goddamn goof!
542
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,665
Ladies and Gentlemen
of the Jury,
543
00:27:36,666 --> 00:27:40,532
I like a goof
as much as the next guy.
544
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:46,232
Hell, in college,
me and my polack roommate
545
00:27:46,233 --> 00:27:48,098
Once duct-taped
this oriental guy
546
00:27:48,099 --> 00:27:50,432
To the inside of the trunk
of my Corvette.
547
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,666
So I get a goof.
548
00:27:54,667 --> 00:27:56,265
But there is a goof,
549
00:27:56,266 --> 00:27:59,898
And then
there is murder.
550
00:27:59,899 --> 00:28:01,098
Objection.
551
00:28:01,099 --> 00:28:02,298
Sustained.
552
00:28:02,299 --> 00:28:03,465
Overruled.
553
00:28:05,366 --> 00:28:06,499
Goofing.
554
00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:08,732
It's just--
555
00:28:08,733 --> 00:28:10,865
It's one
of the many examples of--
556
00:28:10,866 --> 00:28:12,032
I have heard enough.
557
00:28:12,033 --> 00:28:14,732
I hereby sentence you
to life in prison
558
00:28:14,733 --> 00:28:16,998
For the murder
of Sheila Contiella.
559
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,265
Uh, Your Honor.
560
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:22,798
Don't we get a say
in this?
561
00:28:22,799 --> 00:28:23,998
Sure.
562
00:28:23,999 --> 00:28:26,365
You want to go through
the whole rigmarole?
563
00:28:26,366 --> 00:28:27,831
Be my guest.
564
00:28:33,300 --> 00:28:35,098
court is back
in session.
565
00:28:35,099 --> 00:28:40,599
Please rise for the Honorable
Sophia R. Jackson.
566
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,399
Have you reached
a verdict?
We have, Your Honor.
567
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:43,599
We, The Jury,
568
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,165
Find the defendant
569
00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:46,365
Guilty
570
00:28:46,366 --> 00:28:49,332
Of murder
in the first degree.
571
00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:51,299
Uh, not to be a dick
about this,
572
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:54,399
But didn't I say that
about three hours ago?
573
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,198
But you insisted
on going in there and--
574
00:28:56,199 --> 00:28:58,198
But, your honor, that's how
the judicial system works.
575
00:28:58,199 --> 00:29:01,332
Oh, is that how
the judicial system works?
576
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:04,599
Please, please,
tell her honor more
577
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,732
About how it all works.
578
00:29:05,733 --> 00:29:07,232
I would really
like to know.
579
00:29:07,233 --> 00:29:10,599
So the verdict is,
as I said before,
580
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,399
Life in prison
for Dr. Richie.
581
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,132
Is this a goof?
582
00:29:15,133 --> 00:29:16,332
I don't think so.
583
00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:18,198
If I could,
I'd sentence all 12 of you
584
00:29:18,199 --> 00:29:21,332
To death
by my foot up your ass.
585
00:29:21,333 --> 00:29:22,699
Fucking assholes.
586
00:29:24,667 --> 00:29:26,499
Thank you,
your honor.
587
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:27,998
Uh,
588
00:29:27,999 --> 00:29:28,998
You,
589
00:29:28,999 --> 00:29:30,265
You're disbarred.
590
00:29:30,266 --> 00:29:31,432
Me? Why?
591
00:29:31,433 --> 00:29:32,831
What am I gonna do?
592
00:29:32,832 --> 00:29:34,432
I hear they're hiring
tour guides
593
00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:36,499
At the nuclear
power plant.
594
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:37,765
That could work,
I suppose.
595
00:29:37,766 --> 00:29:39,432
The hours have got to be
better than this.
596
00:29:39,433 --> 00:29:41,499
You've been very sweet
during all this.
597
00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,065
Thank you.
598
00:30:09,832 --> 00:30:13,032
From now on,
you Big Buster's wife.
599
00:30:13,033 --> 00:30:16,132
Oh, no,
no, no, no, no.
600
00:30:16,133 --> 00:30:17,599
I'm--
I'm already taken,
601
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,599
So you're probably gonna have
to find somebody else.
602
00:30:29,667 --> 00:30:32,499
You'd better shut the fuck up
and start sucking my dick.
603
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,199
I'm goofing.
604
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,399
Oh.
605
00:30:40,899 --> 00:30:43,731
Yeah, okay.
606
00:30:43,732 --> 00:30:45,332
Very good. Okay.
607
00:30:45,333 --> 00:30:46,599
No, I'm not.
608
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,232
Do it.
609
00:30:49,666 --> 00:30:52,165
Mm!
610
00:30:52,166 --> 00:30:54,199
Are you sure your wife
is gonna be gone all day?
611
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,365
Oh, yeah.
612
00:30:55,366 --> 00:30:57,232
Yeah, she's disassembling
the basketball court
613
00:30:57,233 --> 00:30:58,299
And putting in
an ice rink.
614
00:30:58,300 --> 00:30:59,698
Plus, half her crew
didn't show up,
615
00:30:59,699 --> 00:31:01,365
So she won't be home
for hours; trust me.
616
00:31:01,366 --> 00:31:02,665
Oh, I don't know.
I mean--
617
00:31:02,666 --> 00:31:04,665
Well, what's the alternative?
We go to your place?
618
00:31:04,666 --> 00:31:06,665
Your roommate's
a modern-day Gloria Steinem.
619
00:31:06,666 --> 00:31:07,865
I'll be making love
with you,
620
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,199
And she'll be
in the room next door
621
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,566
Having
a bra-burning session.
622
00:31:10,567 --> 00:31:12,098
What's so terrible
about women's lib?
623
00:31:12,099 --> 00:31:13,898
You know, I think they make
some really good points.
624
00:31:13,899 --> 00:31:15,299
Don't get me wrong.
625
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:17,098
I'm all for equal pay.
626
00:31:17,099 --> 00:31:19,532
But there are some differences
beyond just the plumbing.
627
00:31:19,533 --> 00:31:20,532
Do I want you
on the front lines?
628
00:31:20,533 --> 00:31:21,965
I don't think so.
629
00:31:21,966 --> 00:31:23,898
The Russians will come in
with their guns a-blazin',
630
00:31:23,899 --> 00:31:25,566
And you guys will be out
powdering your boobs.
631
00:31:25,567 --> 00:31:28,332
You know I get so hot
when you talk politics.
632
00:31:31,366 --> 00:31:32,998
So when you gonna break up
with Gretchen?
633
00:31:32,999 --> 00:31:34,332
Soon. Soon.
634
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:35,499
But you've made promises
to me!
635
00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:36,865
I--I know.
636
00:31:36,866 --> 00:31:37,898
Liz, it's complicated.
637
00:31:37,899 --> 00:31:38,932
You have to be patient.
638
00:31:38,933 --> 00:31:40,965
I know.
I--
639
00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:44,932
I'll tell Gretchen
this week.
640
00:31:44,933 --> 00:31:46,399
Here's the next story.
641
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,399
Mm.
642
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,265
I'm getting excited.
643
00:31:51,266 --> 00:31:52,965
Can you feel me?
644
00:32:05,999 --> 00:32:06,998
There you go.
645
00:32:06,999 --> 00:32:09,199
Ahh!
646
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,765
There you go.
There you go.
647
00:32:10,766 --> 00:32:13,631
Oh, you did it.
648
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:14,865
Is it a boy
or a girl?
649
00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:16,965
Let me put it this way:
the first one's a boy.
650
00:32:16,966 --> 00:32:19,432
And here comes
boy number two.
651
00:32:19,433 --> 00:32:21,299
oh, My God!
652
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,232
Oh!
653
00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:26,499
Are there any more
in there, vagina?
654
00:32:27,699 --> 00:32:29,598
I love it!
655
00:32:29,599 --> 00:32:31,399
Oh.
656
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,865
They're my little guys.
657
00:32:34,866 --> 00:32:39,232
Oh, I am gonna love you
till the day I die.
658
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:57,332
Now that Dad's gone
and we're grown up,
659
00:32:57,333 --> 00:32:59,531
We think it's time for you
to tell us the truth.
660
00:32:59,532 --> 00:33:01,432
About what?
661
00:33:01,433 --> 00:33:03,998
About the fact
that you and Dad are white
662
00:33:03,999 --> 00:33:05,466
And we're black.
663
00:33:06,532 --> 00:33:08,598
Ah, right.
664
00:33:08,599 --> 00:33:11,199
Yeah, I had a feeling
this day would come.
665
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,032
The year
before you were born,
666
00:33:14,033 --> 00:33:17,531
I was the entertainment reporter
for the local newspaper.
667
00:33:17,532 --> 00:33:21,765
And I had an opportunity
to interview all the big stars:
668
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:26,032
Denzel Washington,
Morgan Freeman,
669
00:33:26,033 --> 00:33:28,432
Sidney Poitier,
everybody.
670
00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:31,366
And even though
I was married to your father
671
00:33:31,367 --> 00:33:34,732
And very, very much
in love with him,
672
00:33:34,733 --> 00:33:38,065
From time to time,
after the interviews,
673
00:33:38,066 --> 00:33:43,165
These stars would...
674
00:33:43,166 --> 00:33:44,232
Fuck me.
675
00:33:44,233 --> 00:33:45,698
Mom, cut to the chase.
676
00:33:45,699 --> 00:33:47,366
Did you have sex
with these guys or not?
677
00:33:47,367 --> 00:33:48,665
Well, as I said--
678
00:33:48,666 --> 00:33:50,232
Who's our
biological father?
679
00:33:50,233 --> 00:33:54,265
So one night
after an interview,
680
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:55,932
I took the opportunity
681
00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:59,932
To fuck
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
682
00:33:59,933 --> 00:34:00,965
And?
683
00:34:00,966 --> 00:34:03,165
Do you need me
to spell it out for you?
684
00:34:03,166 --> 00:34:04,132
Yes.
Yes.
685
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:08,965
I...
686
00:34:08,966 --> 00:34:15,199
F-u-c-k-e-d...
687
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:20,632
A-r-n-o-l-d
688
00:34:20,633 --> 00:34:23,898
S-c-h--
689
00:34:23,899 --> 00:34:25,698
Mom--
let her finish.
690
00:34:25,699 --> 00:34:32,266
W-a-r-e-n...
691
00:34:32,267 --> 00:34:35,266
E-g-g...
692
00:34:35,267 --> 00:34:37,798
E-r.
693
00:34:37,799 --> 00:34:40,732
So you're saying
Arnold Schwarzenegger's
694
00:34:40,733 --> 00:34:41,832
Our biological father?
695
00:34:41,833 --> 00:34:43,132
Yes.
696
00:34:43,133 --> 00:34:45,332
It's why you're both
so tall.
697
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,431
I always told everyone
698
00:34:46,432 --> 00:34:47,932
It was because
you got too much sun.
699
00:34:47,933 --> 00:34:49,832
But how can you
be sure it's--
700
00:34:49,833 --> 00:34:51,032
I'm positive.
701
00:34:51,033 --> 00:34:53,165
He was the only man
I was with during that time.
702
00:34:53,166 --> 00:34:55,932
And I took the blood test
to prove it.
703
00:34:55,933 --> 00:34:57,399
How does that explain
the dark color of our skin?
704
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:58,865
I know.
705
00:34:58,866 --> 00:35:01,732
I know.
Believe me, I know.
706
00:35:06,599 --> 00:35:09,099
Boys,
since our conversation,
707
00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:11,398
I've been thinking
about it a lot.
708
00:35:11,399 --> 00:35:14,398
And I've decided
it's best
709
00:35:14,399 --> 00:35:16,732
For you to meet
your real father.
710
00:35:16,733 --> 00:35:17,965
Really?
711
00:35:17,966 --> 00:35:19,565
Yes.
712
00:35:19,566 --> 00:35:22,965
So without
further ado,
713
00:35:22,966 --> 00:35:24,865
You knew "he'd be back,"
714
00:35:24,866 --> 00:35:26,832
And here is--
715
00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:31,532
The man, the machine,
your dad,
716
00:35:31,533 --> 00:35:37,632
The incomparable
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
717
00:35:37,633 --> 00:35:39,532
hello, my sons.
718
00:35:39,533 --> 00:35:41,332
I'm Arnold.
719
00:35:41,333 --> 00:35:44,865
So thrilled to finally meet
my two boys.
720
00:35:44,866 --> 00:35:46,398
It will be fantastic.
721
00:35:46,399 --> 00:35:48,465
Do you want to go around
throw outside the ball,
722
00:35:48,466 --> 00:35:49,832
Something like this?
723
00:35:49,833 --> 00:35:53,165
Mom, that's not
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
724
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,032
Arnold, could you wait
in the living room
725
00:35:57,033 --> 00:35:58,065
For just a second?
726
00:35:58,066 --> 00:35:59,765
Of course.
727
00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:02,431
I'll be back.
728
00:36:02,432 --> 00:36:04,665
Look, I tried
to get in touch with Arnold,
729
00:36:04,666 --> 00:36:06,132
But he's a major
politician now,
730
00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:08,498
And I couldn't even get past
the receptionist.
731
00:36:08,499 --> 00:36:09,632
That guy
732
00:36:09,633 --> 00:36:11,732
Does corporate events
as Arnold,
733
00:36:11,733 --> 00:36:13,498
So I thought at least
it would give you an idea
734
00:36:13,499 --> 00:36:15,166
Of what it'd be like
to have him around.
735
00:36:15,167 --> 00:36:16,565
Okay, mom.
736
00:36:16,566 --> 00:36:17,565
Thanks.
737
00:36:17,566 --> 00:36:19,765
We'll try
to make it work.
738
00:36:19,766 --> 00:36:22,732
That's my beautiful boys.
739
00:36:22,733 --> 00:36:24,166
I'm back.
740
00:36:24,167 --> 00:36:27,865
Oh, hey...
741
00:36:27,866 --> 00:36:28,899
Dad.
742
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:31,665
Son.
743
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:34,166
Oh, here we go.
Get him! Get him!
744
00:36:34,167 --> 00:36:35,166
I'm gonna get you!
745
00:36:35,167 --> 00:36:36,665
Oh, good one.
Okay.
746
00:36:36,666 --> 00:36:39,065
You split right.
Split left.
747
00:36:39,066 --> 00:36:40,732
Fantastic!
748
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:44,565
Okay, here we go.
749
00:36:44,566 --> 00:36:46,431
Oh, dear.
750
00:36:50,733 --> 00:36:51,965
I know this time
for you two
751
00:36:51,966 --> 00:36:53,999
Must have been
very difficult
752
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,532
On so many levels.
753
00:36:56,533 --> 00:36:59,765
One, your father
passing away
754
00:36:59,766 --> 00:37:01,465
Not more
than a week ago
755
00:37:01,466 --> 00:37:02,932
At the young age
of 42,
756
00:37:02,933 --> 00:37:04,298
Finally succumbing,
757
00:37:04,299 --> 00:37:07,832
After a courageous battle
with liver cancer.
758
00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,932
Two, the revelation
759
00:37:09,933 --> 00:37:11,398
That your real
biological father
760
00:37:11,399 --> 00:37:14,099
Is none other than
international-movie-megastar-
761
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:16,065
Turned-California-Governor.
762
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:18,999
You know who he is,
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
763
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,099
And three,
764
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,732
Having me,
Marc Jacobson,
765
00:37:23,733 --> 00:37:25,532
Second-rate
stand-up comedian
766
00:37:25,533 --> 00:37:28,632
Doing 24-hour-day
impression of Arnold
767
00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:32,166
In the effort to make you
comfor-tay-ble--comfortable.
768
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,698
Com-for-table?
769
00:37:34,699 --> 00:37:38,532
And four, the ongoing confusion
over the fact
770
00:37:38,533 --> 00:37:40,865
That you have
two white biological parents
771
00:37:40,866 --> 00:37:42,166
And yet you yourselves
772
00:37:42,167 --> 00:37:46,598
Are quite obviously dark-skinned
African-American boys.
773
00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:47,665
Must be hard.
774
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,999
That really sums it up.
775
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,066
You know, you don't always
have to do the Arnold voice
776
00:37:52,067 --> 00:37:52,999
If you don't want to.
777
00:37:57,366 --> 00:38:00,799
Listen,
to be honest with you,
778
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,899
Sometimes it's easier for me
to express my true feelings
779
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:05,665
While doing
this impersonation.
780
00:38:05,666 --> 00:38:07,999
There are things
781
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,465
That Arnold Schwarzenegger
can say
782
00:38:09,466 --> 00:38:13,799
That Marc Jacobson can't.
783
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,732
Or won't.
784
00:38:17,399 --> 00:38:19,231
Come on, race you
back to the house!
785
00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:36,498
I let you win
on purpose.
786
00:38:36,499 --> 00:38:37,498
You know
I let you win.
787
00:38:37,499 --> 00:38:41,432
Oh, look at my boys
all sweaty.
788
00:38:41,433 --> 00:38:42,665
Mom, was the real
Arnold Schwarzenegger
789
00:38:42,666 --> 00:38:43,999
As nice as this one?
790
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,598
Well, I haven't thought
about that night in years.
791
00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:47,166
But if I remember...
792
00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:50,032
Oh, my god.
793
00:38:50,033 --> 00:38:51,832
You're gonna hate me
for this.
794
00:38:51,833 --> 00:38:54,465
I made a little boo-boo.
795
00:38:57,466 --> 00:38:59,765
It wasn't
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
796
00:39:01,199 --> 00:39:04,066
It was Arsenio Hall.
797
00:39:05,067 --> 00:39:06,498
well, that explains a lot.
798
00:39:06,499 --> 00:39:08,365
So good to finally know
the real truth.
799
00:39:08,366 --> 00:39:10,365
What about the blood test
you were talking about?
800
00:39:10,366 --> 00:39:12,632
They were for
Arsenio Hall.
801
00:39:12,633 --> 00:39:13,565
Oh.
802
00:39:14,833 --> 00:39:16,332
So where does that
leave me?
803
00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:18,598
Well, can you do Arsenio?
804
00:39:19,666 --> 00:39:20,665
No.
805
00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:23,699
I can do
Eddie Murphy.
806
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:24,865
A while back,
I used to do
807
00:39:24,866 --> 00:39:25,999
A pretty good Eddie Murphy.
808
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,066
That's fine.
809
00:39:27,067 --> 00:39:28,765
Same difference.
810
00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:30,598
Yeah? Okay.
811
00:39:30,599 --> 00:39:32,165
Oh, yeah.
812
00:39:32,166 --> 00:39:34,066
I got some ice cream.
813
00:39:34,067 --> 00:39:36,099
You cannot have none,
814
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:37,099
'cause you on welfare.
815
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:38,365
I'm Gumby, damn it.
816
00:39:38,366 --> 00:39:39,865
Psych!
Psych!
817
00:39:39,866 --> 00:39:40,865
Remember?
818
00:39:40,866 --> 00:39:41,865
Yeah.
819
00:39:41,866 --> 00:39:42,865
I got
the ice cream.
820
00:39:42,866 --> 00:39:44,398
Yeah.
821
00:39:44,399 --> 00:39:46,632
You may think our family's
a little different,
822
00:39:46,633 --> 00:39:48,032
But you know what?
823
00:39:48,033 --> 00:39:50,999
It's our family,
and that's what counts.
824
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,565
Who's to say
who your father is?
825
00:39:53,566 --> 00:39:55,165
Is it the person
who raised you?
826
00:39:55,166 --> 00:39:57,365
Is it the person
who gave you your DNA?
827
00:39:57,366 --> 00:39:59,198
Or maybe it's the guy
who hangs out in your house
828
00:39:59,199 --> 00:40:01,098
Doing an imitation
of a famous comedian
829
00:40:01,099 --> 00:40:03,398
Who is the same race
as another famous comedian
830
00:40:03,399 --> 00:40:05,498
Who is
your biological father.
831
00:40:05,499 --> 00:40:08,032
If you ask us,
it's the last one:
832
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,632
The guy who hangs out
at your house
833
00:40:09,633 --> 00:40:11,532
Doing an imitation
of a famous comedian
834
00:40:11,533 --> 00:40:13,732
Who's the same race
as another famous comedian
835
00:40:13,733 --> 00:40:15,665
Who is
your biological father.
836
00:40:15,666 --> 00:40:16,899
I'm Greg Jaffe.
837
00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:18,298
And I'm Taye Jaffe.
838
00:40:18,299 --> 00:40:20,665
and we are
the Jaffe brothers.
839
00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:22,432
Good night,
folks.
840
00:40:25,433 --> 00:40:33,232
841
00:40:33,233 --> 00:40:35,265
Gretchen is a terrific wife,
842
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,932
But Liz--
she makes me feel young
843
00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:41,032
And vital and vibrant,
visceral.
844
00:40:41,033 --> 00:40:43,332
And the sex--
Abe, the sex.
845
00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:44,699
Yeah, but is it
worth it, Jeff?
846
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:46,765
I mean, is it worth throwing
away 12 years of marriage
847
00:40:46,766 --> 00:40:48,232
For a momentary thrill?
848
00:40:48,233 --> 00:40:50,332
Monogamy is a myth.
849
00:40:50,333 --> 00:40:51,632
It's a myth.
850
00:40:51,633 --> 00:40:53,899
No, monogamy is what keeps
society from crumbling.
851
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:55,098
That's absolutely
not true.
852
00:40:55,099 --> 00:40:58,232
We are biochemically engineered
to spread our seed.
853
00:40:58,233 --> 00:40:59,999
And the moment
you embrace that truth,
854
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:00,999
The happier
you will be.
855
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,098
I'm happy
with Betsy.
856
00:41:02,099 --> 00:41:03,098
He's not.
You're not.
857
00:41:03,099 --> 00:41:04,098
You convinced yourself
you are,
858
00:41:04,099 --> 00:41:05,165
But you're not.
I really am.
859
00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:06,165
I mean, is it great
24 hours a day?
860
00:41:06,166 --> 00:41:07,365
No, but I, you know,
sleep a lot
861
00:41:07,366 --> 00:41:08,498
To shield out
the pain.
862
00:41:08,499 --> 00:41:09,498
If I can get my milk
863
00:41:09,499 --> 00:41:10,498
For free,
864
00:41:10,499 --> 00:41:11,599
You can be damn sure
865
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,098
I'm gonna start
fucking cows.
866
00:41:13,099 --> 00:41:14,265
That's easy
for you to say.
867
00:41:14,266 --> 00:41:15,432
Literally,
I'm literally--
868
00:41:15,433 --> 00:41:17,065
You've never been married.
I have kids.
869
00:41:17,066 --> 00:41:18,498
I'm so serious,
it's not even funny.
870
00:41:18,499 --> 00:41:19,899
They're the ones that keep me
from slitting my wrists
871
00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:21,065
When I wake up
in the morning.
872
00:41:21,066 --> 00:41:22,432
You are living
in a fantasy world.
873
00:41:22,433 --> 00:41:23,498
Okay, maybe so,
874
00:41:23,499 --> 00:41:24,999
But I take a pill,
and I feel better.
875
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,465
Oh, I don't know
who to believe.
876
00:41:27,466 --> 00:41:29,031
Abe or Scotty?
877
00:41:29,032 --> 00:41:31,966
Scotty or Abe?
878
00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:35,332
I do know this:
we've got ten stories.
879
00:41:35,333 --> 00:41:37,365
And I'm not gonna
let you down.
880
00:41:37,366 --> 00:41:39,198
I promise you that.
881
00:42:15,266 --> 00:42:16,866
son of a bitch.
882
00:42:16,867 --> 00:42:21,365
Paul went and bought himself
a CAT Scan Machine.
883
00:42:21,366 --> 00:42:22,499
a CAT Scan Machine?
884
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,065
Like a hospital
CAT Scan Machine?
885
00:42:24,066 --> 00:42:25,165
Why would he do that?
886
00:42:25,166 --> 00:42:26,665
That seems ridiculous.
887
00:42:26,666 --> 00:42:29,599
Probably wants
to be a hero.
888
00:42:37,066 --> 00:42:39,998
You know what?
889
00:42:39,999 --> 00:42:42,298
We're gonna get
a CAT Scan Machine.
890
00:42:42,299 --> 00:42:43,932
Honey, you wouldn't know
the first thing
891
00:42:43,933 --> 00:42:45,432
About what to do
with a CAT scan.
892
00:42:45,433 --> 00:42:46,565
We'll figure it out.
893
00:42:46,566 --> 00:42:47,799
If I can set up
the VCR,
894
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,365
I can set up
a CAT Scan Machine.
895
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:50,599
I set up the VCR.
896
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:51,599
Ray!
897
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,398
I didn't mean it.
898
00:42:53,399 --> 00:42:54,565
I'm sorry,
Jakey.
899
00:42:54,566 --> 00:42:56,332
You know Daddy
loves you, right?
900
00:42:56,333 --> 00:42:58,265
his little boy.
901
00:42:58,266 --> 00:42:59,766
I did set up
the VCR, though.
902
00:42:59,767 --> 00:43:00,965
Ray!
903
00:43:00,966 --> 00:43:02,665
I didn't mean it.
I'm sorry, Jakey.
904
00:43:03,733 --> 00:43:06,065
You know Daddy
loves you, right?
905
00:43:06,066 --> 00:43:07,398
his little boy.
906
00:43:07,399 --> 00:43:08,398
I love you too,
Daddy.
907
00:43:08,399 --> 00:43:09,665
Ray!
908
00:43:09,666 --> 00:43:10,599
What?
909
00:43:18,099 --> 00:43:20,098
Unbelievable.
He bought a CAT scan.
910
00:43:20,099 --> 00:43:21,732
What's the big deal, dad?
911
00:43:21,733 --> 00:43:22,832
Paul!
912
00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,031
Oh, my god, Kalen.
913
00:43:24,032 --> 00:43:25,465
I'm so sorry.
Daddy didn't mean it.
914
00:43:26,899 --> 00:43:27,931
Nice and easy.
915
00:43:27,932 --> 00:43:28,965
Watch the curb.
916
00:43:28,966 --> 00:43:30,265
Right up there.
Right upstairs.
917
00:43:30,266 --> 00:43:33,766
Son of a bitch!
918
00:43:33,767 --> 00:43:36,232
I got to get
another one.
919
00:43:50,066 --> 00:43:54,098
Jesus Christ,
that sneaky son of a bitch.
920
00:43:57,066 --> 00:43:58,065
Come on, Ray.
921
00:43:58,066 --> 00:43:59,565
Don't be ridic--oh!
922
00:44:03,566 --> 00:44:05,232
I'm sorry, honey.
I didn't see you there.
923
00:44:08,533 --> 00:44:10,332
don't look at him.
Don't talk to him.
924
00:44:12,033 --> 00:44:13,998
Get in the car.
925
00:44:13,999 --> 00:44:15,865
wh--why?
What is this about?
926
00:44:15,866 --> 00:44:17,599
this is why.
927
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,365
I don't want to talk
to you anymore.
928
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:20,298
I'm done with you.
929
00:45:23,033 --> 00:45:24,399
Oh!
930
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,332
Son of a bitch!
931
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,632
Hey.
932
00:45:42,633 --> 00:45:44,065
Hey.
933
00:45:44,066 --> 00:45:46,831
You look like shit.
934
00:45:46,832 --> 00:45:48,332
So do you.
935
00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:50,032
Yeah, I--
936
00:45:50,033 --> 00:45:50,965
Right.
937
00:45:54,133 --> 00:45:55,432
Let me ask you something.
938
00:45:55,433 --> 00:45:58,098
Do you give the guys that
deliver your CAT scan a tip?
939
00:45:58,099 --> 00:45:59,831
I usually throw them
five bucks
940
00:45:59,832 --> 00:46:00,932
So they can grab
some lunch.
941
00:46:00,933 --> 00:46:03,098
Five bucks?
942
00:46:03,099 --> 00:46:04,699
Where do you get lunch
for five bucks?
943
00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,399
McDownald's.
944
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,898
Boorger king.
945
00:46:09,899 --> 00:46:10,898
Woondy's.
946
00:46:10,899 --> 00:46:11,898
I love it.
947
00:46:11,899 --> 00:46:13,232
Little changes
to the names
948
00:46:13,233 --> 00:46:15,798
Of the most famous
fast-food chains.
949
00:46:15,799 --> 00:46:17,932
That's right.
950
00:46:17,933 --> 00:46:22,265
I really do
love it, ray.
951
00:46:22,266 --> 00:46:24,299
Thanks.
952
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,666
This is
the radioactive core
953
00:46:29,667 --> 00:46:31,465
Where the nuclear power
comes from
954
00:46:31,466 --> 00:46:34,831
So you can all plug in
your pac-man machines.
955
00:46:34,832 --> 00:46:36,731
Doesn't it look like
it's getting too hot in there?
956
00:46:36,732 --> 00:46:37,998
No, no, no.
Don't you worry.
957
00:46:37,999 --> 00:46:39,765
We have a perfect
safety record here.
958
00:46:39,766 --> 00:46:41,032
We know
what we're doing.
959
00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:43,765
attention.
960
00:46:43,766 --> 00:46:44,831
This is not a drill.
961
00:46:46,832 --> 00:46:48,365
It's happening.
962
00:46:48,366 --> 00:46:49,698
It's happening!
963
00:46:49,699 --> 00:46:52,666
No, no, no,
no, no, no!
964
00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,898
There are 75 kids
out there
965
00:46:54,899 --> 00:46:56,032
Who may have
been exposed
966
00:46:56,033 --> 00:46:58,098
To dangerous levels
of radiation!
967
00:46:58,099 --> 00:46:59,365
What the hell
are we gonna do?
968
00:46:59,366 --> 00:47:00,798
They're at risk
unless we can get
969
00:47:00,799 --> 00:47:02,965
All of them tested
within the next hour.
970
00:47:02,966 --> 00:47:04,199
Impossible.
971
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:05,965
Where are we gonna find
CAT Scan Machines
972
00:47:05,966 --> 00:47:08,032
For every kid
within a ten-mile radius?
973
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:09,132
I have an idea!
974
00:47:09,133 --> 00:47:10,731
What is it, son?
We don't have much time!
975
00:47:10,732 --> 00:47:12,165
Okay,
it's a reality show.
976
00:47:12,166 --> 00:47:13,599
We get ten
homeless people,
977
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,865
And America votes on which one
gets a penthouse apartment.
978
00:47:15,866 --> 00:47:17,199
What's the hook?
What's the hook?
979
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,232
Is there a host,
a celebrity panel?
980
00:47:19,233 --> 00:47:20,698
I don't know!
981
00:47:20,699 --> 00:47:22,599
It's just a seed
of an idea.
982
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,132
I haven't really
thought it out yet.
983
00:47:24,133 --> 00:47:25,566
All right,
there's something to that,
984
00:47:25,567 --> 00:47:26,865
But we're gonna have
to talk about it later
985
00:47:26,866 --> 00:47:28,032
When I can really focus.
986
00:47:28,033 --> 00:47:29,032
Wait a second!
987
00:47:29,033 --> 00:47:30,599
Doesn't your dad
988
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,599
Have a whole bunch
of CAT Scan Machines?
989
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:50,932
Oh, come on!
Come on! Come on!
990
00:47:50,933 --> 00:47:53,132
There's nobody here!
What about your house?
991
00:47:53,133 --> 00:47:54,932
No, there's no one
here either!
992
00:47:54,933 --> 00:47:56,399
I don't have my key!
993
00:48:26,666 --> 00:48:31,165
talking 'bout people.
994
00:48:31,166 --> 00:48:33,631
995
00:48:33,632 --> 00:48:35,965
996
00:48:35,966 --> 00:48:40,566
kept under covers.
997
00:48:40,567 --> 00:48:41,965
998
00:48:41,966 --> 00:48:44,065
It's nice to take a break
from that CAT Scan mishigas,
999
00:48:44,066 --> 00:48:45,731
Get out of the house.
1000
00:48:45,732 --> 00:48:48,965
You said it, neighbor.
1001
00:48:48,966 --> 00:48:49,998
Salut.
1002
00:48:49,999 --> 00:48:51,399
Clink!
1003
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,798
just a little too close.
1004
00:48:53,799 --> 00:48:59,232
just a little too long.
1005
00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:03,965
something we don't, darling.
1006
00:49:03,966 --> 00:49:07,065
to talk about.
1007
00:49:07,066 --> 00:49:09,998
open the door.
1008
00:49:09,999 --> 00:49:12,466
Open the door.
1009
00:49:12,467 --> 00:49:13,698
The kids are just--
1010
00:49:13,699 --> 00:49:15,631
They're just
throwing up and--
1011
00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:27,165
another beer,
gentlemen?
1012
00:49:27,166 --> 00:49:28,565
Yeah, I'll take one.
1013
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:30,265
I'll take two.
1014
00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,598
You son of a bitch.
1015
00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:38,598
This guy.
1016
00:49:38,599 --> 00:49:40,332
Come on!
1017
00:49:40,333 --> 00:49:41,432
Don't you die on me,
1018
00:49:41,433 --> 00:49:43,565
Not now,
not like this.
1019
00:49:43,566 --> 00:49:45,565
We have a breaking news story.
1020
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:47,065
75 children
either dead or dying
1021
00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:48,565
Of radiation poisoning
1022
00:49:48,566 --> 00:49:50,698
As a result of an accident
at a nuclear power plant.
1023
00:49:50,699 --> 00:49:52,099
Their lives
would have been spared
1024
00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:53,432
If they'd been able
to get access
1025
00:49:53,433 --> 00:49:55,299
To either of two houses
on Grover Avenue,
1026
00:49:55,300 --> 00:49:56,932
Each of which
reportedly contains
1027
00:49:56,933 --> 00:49:58,999
Dozens of lifesaving
CAT Scan Machines
1028
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,531
Collected
for unknown reasons
1029
00:50:00,532 --> 00:50:02,366
By their homeowners,
adjacent neighbors
1030
00:50:02,367 --> 00:50:04,332
Who are inexplicably
nowhere to be found.
1031
00:50:04,333 --> 00:50:05,498
Among the many casualties
1032
00:50:05,499 --> 00:50:06,999
Was nuclear power plant
tour guide
1033
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,432
And former criminal prosecutor
Barge Michaelson.
1034
00:50:09,433 --> 00:50:10,865
The details are sketchy
right now,
1035
00:50:10,866 --> 00:50:13,032
But we'll keep you updated live
as the story develops.
1036
00:50:13,033 --> 00:50:14,466
I'm gonna probably
head home.
1037
00:50:14,467 --> 00:50:15,798
It's late.
1038
00:50:15,799 --> 00:50:17,332
Check.
1039
00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:19,531
to talk about.
1040
00:50:19,532 --> 00:50:21,466
you've been screwing her
for a year?
1041
00:50:21,467 --> 00:50:22,665
It's over.
Get out.
1042
00:50:22,666 --> 00:50:23,665
Gretchen.
1043
00:50:23,666 --> 00:50:24,932
Get the fuck
out of here!
1044
00:50:24,933 --> 00:50:27,498
I'm done with your--
your lies and your apologies
1045
00:50:27,499 --> 00:50:29,999
And your fucking
stone tablets.
1046
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,465
Well, where am i
supposed to go?
1047
00:50:32,466 --> 00:50:34,332
You can go to hell
for all I care.
1048
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:35,999
Go move in with
your little home wrecker.
1049
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,232
She's not
a home wrecker.
1050
00:50:37,233 --> 00:50:39,165
She's an avid film buff.
You know that.
1051
00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:41,299
She also considers herself
a bit of a shutterbug
1052
00:50:41,300 --> 00:50:42,732
And a prestidigitator.
1053
00:50:42,733 --> 00:50:44,399
You know what, Gretchen?
You know what you can do?
1054
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,932
Don't say something
you're gonna regret.
1055
00:50:45,933 --> 00:50:46,932
Go...
1056
00:50:46,933 --> 00:50:47,932
I'm warning you, Jeff.
1057
00:50:47,933 --> 00:50:48,932
Fly...
1058
00:50:48,933 --> 00:50:49,932
Don't you say it!
1059
00:50:49,933 --> 00:50:52,865
Go fly a kite,
Gretchen.
1060
00:50:52,866 --> 00:50:54,765
Go fly a kite.
1061
00:50:54,766 --> 00:50:56,099
You didn't.
1062
00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:57,565
You did not.
1063
00:50:57,566 --> 00:51:00,332
You motherfucker!
1064
00:51:05,233 --> 00:51:07,299
love, love?
1065
00:51:07,300 --> 00:51:10,232
okay, okay,
something to talk about.
1066
00:51:10,233 --> 00:51:12,399
Speaking of something
to talk about, today's weather:
1067
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,032
Sunny, mild, warm,
a little cooler tonight.
1068
00:51:15,033 --> 00:51:16,898
Ladies might want
to put on a shawl.
1069
00:51:16,899 --> 00:51:19,332
Let's get back
to continuous music.
1070
00:51:19,333 --> 00:51:22,498
firm in the ground.
1071
00:51:22,499 --> 00:51:23,431
What's up, brother?
1072
00:51:38,566 --> 00:51:40,531
Hey.
1073
00:51:40,532 --> 00:51:41,965
I don't think we've met.
I'm Duane.
1074
00:51:41,966 --> 00:51:43,165
Just transferred
from Leavenworth.
1075
00:51:43,166 --> 00:51:44,765
Oh, hi.
Pleasure.
1076
00:51:44,766 --> 00:51:46,431
Glenn Richie.
1077
00:51:46,432 --> 00:51:48,165
Oh, yeah.
1078
00:51:48,166 --> 00:51:50,465
You're the doctor that killed
one of his patients, right?
1079
00:51:50,466 --> 00:51:51,832
Well,
it was a goof.
1080
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:52,899
yeah.
1081
00:51:52,900 --> 00:51:54,498
Sure, it was a goof.
I get it.
1082
00:51:54,499 --> 00:51:57,232
Oh, well, I'm glad
somebody finally does.
1083
00:51:57,233 --> 00:51:58,332
Oy.
1084
00:52:01,267 --> 00:52:04,299
Hey, Glenn,
1085
00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:08,032
I haven't been on the outside
in such a long time.
1086
00:52:08,033 --> 00:52:09,965
Any new good sushi joints
open up, or--
1087
00:52:09,966 --> 00:52:11,332
Oh, well--
1088
00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:13,232
Oh, were you around
when Noshi Sushi opened up?
1089
00:52:13,233 --> 00:52:14,232
No, is it good?
1090
00:52:14,233 --> 00:52:15,299
Oh, are you kidding me?
1091
00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:16,798
These guys got
a softshell crab roll.
1092
00:52:16,799 --> 00:52:18,132
It is better
than a tuna roll.
1093
00:52:18,133 --> 00:52:19,431
Come on.
No, I'm telling you.
1094
00:52:19,432 --> 00:52:21,665
They got a softshell crab roll
better than a tuna roll.
1095
00:52:21,666 --> 00:52:22,899
Wow.
So if you ever
get out--
1096
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:24,532
Well, I'm in for life
without parole, so...
1097
00:52:24,533 --> 00:52:26,765
Well, if, for whatever reason,
you do get out--
1098
00:52:26,766 --> 00:52:28,965
There won't be
a reason.
1099
00:52:28,966 --> 00:52:30,398
But we don't get sushi
in here, huh?
1100
00:52:30,399 --> 00:52:32,999
Oh, I wish we did.
1101
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,532
I'm a sushi fiend.
1102
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,431
Are you kidding?
I'm addicted to it.
1103
00:52:37,432 --> 00:52:38,765
I'm addicted to it.
1104
00:52:38,766 --> 00:52:41,199
hey, Paco. I'm open.
1105
00:52:45,666 --> 00:52:46,598
Whatever.
Sorry.
1106
00:52:47,766 --> 00:52:49,065
So?
1107
00:52:49,066 --> 00:52:50,132
Hey, um, Glenn,
1108
00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:51,798
Would you mind sitting
and spotting me
1109
00:52:51,799 --> 00:52:52,865
While I do some reps?
1110
00:52:52,866 --> 00:52:55,365
Oh, wow, Duane,
that sounds really nice,
1111
00:52:55,366 --> 00:52:58,431
But I don't think
it's such a great idea.
1112
00:52:58,432 --> 00:53:00,065
I'm kind of with
Big Buster.
1113
00:53:00,066 --> 00:53:02,331
He--he rapes me
every night.
1114
00:53:02,332 --> 00:53:03,865
Right, right.
1115
00:53:03,866 --> 00:53:05,331
He ass-rapes you,
huh?
1116
00:53:05,332 --> 00:53:06,465
Yep.
1117
00:53:06,466 --> 00:53:09,598
Wow, just my luck.
1118
00:53:09,599 --> 00:53:11,532
Should have known
you'd be taken.
1119
00:53:15,633 --> 00:53:20,132
But we can just do
one set, huh?
1120
00:53:20,133 --> 00:53:21,965
You know what?
What the hell, right?
1121
00:53:21,966 --> 00:53:24,032
It's just two people
enjoying each other's company,
1122
00:53:24,033 --> 00:53:25,166
Juicing their pecs.
1123
00:53:25,167 --> 00:53:26,799
Yeah, come on.
No harm in that.
1124
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:27,832
Right?
1125
00:53:27,833 --> 00:53:28,999
I could always use
a spotter.
1126
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,199
Who can't?
1127
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,032
I mean, I think safety first,
even in here.
1128
00:53:32,033 --> 00:53:33,565
there you go.
1129
00:53:33,566 --> 00:53:35,065
Three more, Duane?
1130
00:53:35,066 --> 00:53:37,099
Feel the burn.
Feel the burn.
1131
00:53:37,100 --> 00:53:38,732
Feel the burn,
Duane.
1132
00:53:38,733 --> 00:53:40,899
Oh, oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1133
00:53:40,900 --> 00:53:42,298
Break it up.
1134
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,266
That was interesting.
1135
00:53:51,266 --> 00:53:52,965
I'd say.
Yikes.
1136
00:53:54,933 --> 00:53:56,065
Hey, listen,
1137
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:58,498
I know your ass
belongs to Big Buster,
1138
00:53:58,499 --> 00:54:02,632
And I totally--
totally respect that,
1139
00:54:02,633 --> 00:54:05,565
But you and I,
we think so much alike.
1140
00:54:05,566 --> 00:54:07,365
You know, like that time
that guy got stabbed.
1141
00:54:07,366 --> 00:54:08,799
And I said,
"that was interesting,"
1142
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:09,932
And you said,
"I'd say."
1143
00:54:09,933 --> 00:54:11,665
Then you said,
"yikes."
yikes.
1144
00:54:11,666 --> 00:54:14,365
Those are the kind of moment
I'm talking about.
1145
00:54:14,366 --> 00:54:16,665
Sometimes I wonder
1146
00:54:16,666 --> 00:54:18,298
What it would be like
if I were the one
1147
00:54:18,299 --> 00:54:20,331
Who were ass-raping you
every night.
1148
00:54:23,332 --> 00:54:25,398
You know,
I think you're feeling
1149
00:54:25,399 --> 00:54:27,598
The energy
of our friendship,
1150
00:54:27,599 --> 00:54:28,899
And you're projecting it
1151
00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:30,365
Into something else
that isn't there.
1152
00:54:30,366 --> 00:54:35,799
No, Glenn,
I'm not--
1153
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,166
I'm not projecting.
1154
00:54:37,167 --> 00:54:39,665
I can't look at you
1155
00:54:39,666 --> 00:54:40,765
Without fantasizing
1156
00:54:40,766 --> 00:54:42,498
About shoving you
up against a wall
1157
00:54:42,499 --> 00:54:44,732
In the laundry room
1158
00:54:44,733 --> 00:54:48,066
And punching you
in the mouth
1159
00:54:48,067 --> 00:54:51,066
And then raping you
1160
00:54:51,067 --> 00:54:53,398
Without your consent,
of course.
1161
00:54:53,399 --> 00:54:56,166
Hey, that's what
makes it rape, right?
1162
00:54:58,199 --> 00:54:59,932
That's what
makes it rape.
1163
00:55:04,366 --> 00:55:06,099
Look, Duane.
I hear you.
1164
00:55:06,100 --> 00:55:07,699
But?
1165
00:55:07,700 --> 00:55:12,432
But I--I can't just
shift gears.
1166
00:55:12,433 --> 00:55:14,799
It's not
that simple.
1167
00:55:18,866 --> 00:55:20,032
I think I'm done
working out.
1168
00:55:20,033 --> 00:55:21,832
Duane, don't be
that guy--
1169
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:25,132
No.
Glenn, I can't.
1170
00:55:25,133 --> 00:55:27,999
I got nothing left.
1171
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,632
See you around.
1172
00:55:30,633 --> 00:55:31,565
Duane.
1173
00:55:42,433 --> 00:55:44,832
what the fuck
do you think you're doing?
1174
00:55:44,833 --> 00:55:46,765
Ahh!
1175
00:55:58,766 --> 00:55:59,932
okay, Doctor.
1176
00:55:59,933 --> 00:56:02,832
It's that time
of the night.
1177
00:56:09,433 --> 00:56:11,532
Buster,
we need to talk.
1178
00:56:11,533 --> 00:56:13,498
Oh, no.
1179
00:56:13,499 --> 00:56:16,231
No, don't tell me.
1180
00:56:19,700 --> 00:56:23,099
Duane--wow.
1181
00:56:23,100 --> 00:56:24,832
I thought this
would be easier.
1182
00:56:24,833 --> 00:56:26,699
Duane Rosenblum
wants me to be his bitch,
1183
00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:29,432
And I'm not sure
I don't want to not
1184
00:56:29,433 --> 00:56:32,265
Not be his bitch.
1185
00:56:32,266 --> 00:56:33,832
Tell me
this is a goof.
1186
00:56:33,833 --> 00:56:36,231
No, not this time.
1187
00:56:38,466 --> 00:56:40,865
You and I have been going
through the motions lately.
1188
00:56:40,866 --> 00:56:42,265
We both know that.
1189
00:56:42,266 --> 00:56:45,832
At this point, we're more
cell mates than anything else.
1190
00:56:48,566 --> 00:56:53,398
I knew this day
would come.
1191
00:56:53,399 --> 00:56:54,865
Glenn, listen to me.
1192
00:56:54,866 --> 00:56:58,532
You have to do
what you have to do.
1193
00:56:58,533 --> 00:57:00,665
As long as you're
getting ass-raped
1194
00:57:00,666 --> 00:57:04,265
Against your will
by someone, anyone,
1195
00:57:04,266 --> 00:57:08,465
Every night,
1196
00:57:08,466 --> 00:57:10,365
Then that's
all that matters.
1197
00:57:10,366 --> 00:57:12,298
Really?
1198
00:57:20,299 --> 00:57:23,532
Nothing.
1199
00:57:23,533 --> 00:57:25,799
Go on.
1200
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:26,966
Get out of here.
1201
00:57:28,766 --> 00:57:30,065
Go on!
1202
00:57:40,033 --> 00:57:43,699
Hey, you busy?
1203
00:57:43,700 --> 00:57:46,232
No.
1204
00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:48,232
I was gonna fold
this piece of paper for a while,
1205
00:57:48,233 --> 00:57:52,599
But I can do that later.
1206
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:53,866
What's up?
1207
00:57:53,867 --> 00:57:57,498
Well, I just talked
to big buster, and...
1208
00:57:57,499 --> 00:57:59,398
Looks like
I'm back on the market.
1209
00:57:59,399 --> 00:58:02,031
Glenn.
1210
00:58:03,433 --> 00:58:04,832
This is wonderful!
1211
00:58:07,166 --> 00:58:09,432
You know what this means,
don't you?
1212
00:58:09,433 --> 00:58:12,098
Yes.
1213
00:58:12,099 --> 00:58:14,265
I do.
1214
00:58:16,433 --> 00:58:17,966
ow, ow, ow, ow.
1215
00:58:23,399 --> 00:58:24,966
What's the matter,
you baby?
1216
00:58:30,999 --> 00:58:32,966
The King's a beggar.
1217
00:58:32,967 --> 00:58:35,532
Now the play is done.
1218
00:58:35,533 --> 00:58:39,232
All is well ended
if this suit be won.
1219
00:58:39,233 --> 00:58:42,866
That you express content,
which we will pay
1220
00:58:42,867 --> 00:58:47,599
With strife to please you,
day exceeding day.
1221
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,031
Ours be your patience then
1222
00:58:50,032 --> 00:58:52,965
And yours our parts.
1223
00:58:52,966 --> 00:58:59,832
Your gentle hands lend us
and take our hearts.
1224
00:58:59,833 --> 00:59:03,098
All's well that ends well.
1225
00:59:03,099 --> 00:59:04,232
fucking baby.
1226
00:59:07,233 --> 00:59:09,065
Lights out!
1227
00:59:16,233 --> 00:59:18,599
Hi, honey bunny,
boozie, boozie,
1228
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,665
Boozie pumpkin butt!
1229
00:59:20,666 --> 00:59:22,732
Mwah!
1230
00:59:22,733 --> 00:59:23,766
Have you
been drinking?
1231
00:59:23,767 --> 00:59:27,198
No, just a little
tequila.
1232
00:59:29,433 --> 00:59:31,532
Oh, I know this bouncer
at Club Stingo,
1233
00:59:31,533 --> 00:59:33,232
And I think we should
really go tonight.
1234
00:59:33,233 --> 00:59:34,465
I had an idea.
1235
00:59:34,466 --> 00:59:36,132
How about you and I,
we stay in.
1236
00:59:36,133 --> 00:59:37,732
We can read from that book
of Kierkegaard
1237
00:59:37,733 --> 00:59:38,766
That I bought you.
1238
00:59:38,767 --> 00:59:41,332
No. Don't be
such a pooper.
1239
00:59:41,333 --> 00:59:42,365
I want to go out.
1240
00:59:42,366 --> 00:59:44,532
I want to party
24-7, baby.
1241
00:59:44,533 --> 00:59:45,866
Whoo!
1242
00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:50,732
You still love me,
don't you, Daddy?
1243
00:59:50,733 --> 00:59:52,132
I mean, you don't regret
1244
00:59:52,133 --> 00:59:53,998
Leaving Gretchen for me,
do you?
1245
00:59:53,999 --> 00:59:55,699
Of--of course not.
1246
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:56,699
Yay!
1247
00:59:56,700 --> 00:59:59,098
Will you buy me
a pony?
1248
00:59:59,099 --> 01:00:00,766
Oh, man.
1249
01:00:00,767 --> 01:00:02,432
Oh, man.
1250
01:00:02,433 --> 01:00:05,432
I don't know. I--
1251
01:00:05,433 --> 01:00:08,632
1252
01:00:08,633 --> 01:00:12,098
I go
1253
01:00:12,099 --> 01:00:20,965
1254
01:00:29,199 --> 01:00:31,632
Hey!
Table for two?
1255
01:00:31,633 --> 01:00:32,665
yes, please.
1256
01:00:32,666 --> 01:00:34,931
Right here.
1257
01:00:34,932 --> 01:00:36,065
Have fun, you guys.
1258
01:00:36,066 --> 01:00:37,065
Thanks.
Thank you.
1259
01:00:37,066 --> 01:00:39,165
Hey!
1260
01:00:39,166 --> 01:00:40,532
Table for two?
1261
01:00:40,533 --> 01:00:44,699
Louis, you may be
the host
1262
01:00:44,700 --> 01:00:46,998
Of the La Fonda list
on channel three...
1263
01:00:46,999 --> 01:00:48,465
And you may be Kelly,
1264
01:00:48,466 --> 01:00:50,399
The former girlfriend
of Stephen Montgomery,
1265
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,399
That guy who's still stuck
in the ground...
1266
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:55,699
But tonight, we are the two
happiest newlyweds
1267
01:00:55,700 --> 01:00:56,865
In the entire world,
1268
01:00:56,866 --> 01:00:58,565
And I couldn't
love you more.
1269
01:01:00,767 --> 01:01:01,998
ladies and gentlemen,
1270
01:01:01,999 --> 01:01:04,032
Please welcome
Harlan Swallow
1271
01:01:04,033 --> 01:01:07,499
And his better half,
Gary.
1272
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:10,732
well, thank you.
1273
01:01:10,733 --> 01:01:12,265
Howdy, folks.
I'm Harlan Swallow.
1274
01:01:12,266 --> 01:01:13,898
And I'm Gary,
and I quit.
1275
01:01:15,433 --> 01:01:17,432
Gary--
hang on tight.
I have your hand up my ass.
1276
01:01:19,700 --> 01:01:20,766
Oh, somebody's
a cheap date.
1277
01:01:20,767 --> 01:01:22,065
Gary, leave
the nice lady alone.
1278
01:01:22,066 --> 01:01:23,565
Fuck you.
What's your name there, honey?
1279
01:01:23,566 --> 01:01:25,198
Me?
1280
01:01:25,199 --> 01:01:27,332
Of course
I'm talking to you.
1281
01:01:27,333 --> 01:01:28,432
I'm not talking
to your boyfriend.
1282
01:01:28,433 --> 01:01:29,565
My name's Kelly.
1283
01:01:29,566 --> 01:01:30,565
Kelly, ooh.
1284
01:01:30,566 --> 01:01:31,931
Gary.
Shh.
1285
01:01:31,932 --> 01:01:33,831
Hey, Kelly, why don't you
meet me after the show,
1286
01:01:33,832 --> 01:01:35,432
And I'll show you
my hard wooden dick.
1287
01:01:35,433 --> 01:01:36,565
Oh, my god!
1288
01:01:36,566 --> 01:01:37,799
This guy
is so offensive.
1289
01:01:37,799 --> 01:01:38,998
He's not funny
at all.
1290
01:01:38,999 --> 01:01:41,165
Shh! I want to hear
what Gary's gonna say next.
1291
01:01:41,166 --> 01:01:42,599
Hey, asshole,
when do I get paid
1292
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:44,332
So I can blow
this juke joint?
1293
01:01:45,700 --> 01:01:50,532
He said "juke joint."
1294
01:01:50,533 --> 01:01:51,898
Oh, my god.
1295
01:01:53,300 --> 01:01:55,299
I think he was kidding
about you coming backstage.
1296
01:01:55,300 --> 01:01:56,632
I think it was just
part of the act.
1297
01:01:56,633 --> 01:01:59,098
Louis, can you shut up
for one second?
1298
01:01:59,099 --> 01:02:01,065
Honey, I just think
it's our honeymoon.
1299
01:02:01,066 --> 01:02:02,766
I would love
to get some champagne
1300
01:02:02,767 --> 01:02:04,098
And go back
to the room.
1301
01:02:04,099 --> 01:02:05,931
Ew, Louis.
Please.
1302
01:02:05,932 --> 01:02:08,465
I just ate
a turkey burger.
1303
01:02:10,066 --> 01:02:11,432
Oh, hey, folks.
1304
01:02:11,433 --> 01:02:12,432
Hi.
We loved the show.
1305
01:02:12,433 --> 01:02:13,998
Oh, thanks.
1306
01:02:13,999 --> 01:02:15,898
Can I talk to Gary?
1307
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:17,499
Um...
1308
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:18,499
Sure.
1309
01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:20,098
Okay.
1310
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,332
God damn it.
1311
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:26,132
Hey, there,
baby cakes.
1312
01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:28,098
Glad you liked
the show.
1313
01:02:28,099 --> 01:02:29,232
Why don't you get rid
of the deadweight
1314
01:02:29,233 --> 01:02:30,865
So we can really talk,
huh?
1315
01:02:30,866 --> 01:02:34,365
Are you gonna show me
your hard wooden dick
1316
01:02:34,366 --> 01:02:35,732
Like you said
you would?
1317
01:02:38,366 --> 01:02:39,831
Yeah, I--I got
to go home now.
1318
01:02:39,832 --> 01:02:41,365
Well, wait.
What about you, Gary?
1319
01:02:41,366 --> 01:02:42,532
You want to come out
with us?
1320
01:02:42,533 --> 01:02:43,831
Honey, I think--
1321
01:02:43,832 --> 01:02:46,532
I will smack you
in the face.
1322
01:02:46,533 --> 01:02:48,666
What do you say,
Gary?
1323
01:02:48,667 --> 01:02:50,198
Want to throw back
a few?
1324
01:02:50,199 --> 01:02:51,265
He's a little tired.
1325
01:02:51,266 --> 01:02:52,865
We're gonna say
good night now.
1326
01:02:52,866 --> 01:02:56,365
Oh, are you two homo?
1327
01:02:58,033 --> 01:03:00,566
Okay, no, I'm not gay.
I date women.
1328
01:03:00,567 --> 01:03:02,666
And Gary isn't gay,
because he's a wooden puppet
1329
01:03:02,667 --> 01:03:03,998
That I ordered
from a company
1330
01:03:03,999 --> 01:03:05,265
In Chicago, okay?
1331
01:03:05,266 --> 01:03:06,599
Good night.
1332
01:03:10,300 --> 01:03:11,465
Kelly, let's--
1333
01:03:13,633 --> 01:03:15,599
Come on.
Sweetie, it's over.
1334
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,232
Let's just--
1335
01:03:23,366 --> 01:03:26,599
You know, I was really hoping
to lose my virginity tonight.
1336
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,731
Yeah, well,
I got to go for a walk.
1337
01:03:28,732 --> 01:03:29,731
Oh, really?
1338
01:03:29,732 --> 01:03:31,499
Because I could come...
1339
01:03:31,500 --> 01:03:34,399
With you.
1340
01:03:35,567 --> 01:03:36,765
Just come with you.
1341
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:52,399
Hi, there.
1342
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:53,698
Oh, god,
1343
01:03:53,699 --> 01:03:55,432
I've been thinking about you
all night.
1344
01:03:57,099 --> 01:03:58,665
I even rubbed one out
in the bathroom
1345
01:03:58,666 --> 01:04:00,098
When my husband
was buying condoms.
1346
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,932
I wouldn't make you
wear one, though.
1347
01:04:16,033 --> 01:04:17,932
Come on, Gary.
1348
01:04:17,933 --> 01:04:20,499
Let's blow
this juke joint.
1349
01:04:22,633 --> 01:04:24,998
You're being coy,
aren't you?
1350
01:04:35,233 --> 01:04:37,199
Hi.
1351
01:04:44,333 --> 01:04:51,932
1352
01:04:51,933 --> 01:04:52,932
1353
01:04:52,933 --> 01:04:54,098
room, please?
1354
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,631
1355
01:04:56,632 --> 01:04:58,466
1356
01:04:59,567 --> 01:05:02,099
1357
01:05:02,100 --> 01:05:06,598
1358
01:05:06,599 --> 01:05:08,898
1359
01:05:08,899 --> 01:05:11,165
1360
01:05:11,166 --> 01:05:14,065
1361
01:05:14,066 --> 01:05:18,665
with ignorance and pride.
1362
01:05:18,666 --> 01:05:20,199
So you say the last time
you saw this guy
1363
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:21,199
Was about 11:00 p.M.?
1364
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:22,199
That's right.
1365
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:23,399
Got it.
1366
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:24,865
All right.
1367
01:05:24,866 --> 01:05:26,199
I think you should call
the cops.
1368
01:05:28,599 --> 01:05:30,932
Oh, come on.
1369
01:06:08,899 --> 01:06:11,832
stop it! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
1370
01:06:11,833 --> 01:06:15,366
We should probably
call the cops.
1371
01:06:15,367 --> 01:06:16,299
Wait.
1372
01:06:19,433 --> 01:06:22,865
I don't love you
anymore, Louis.
1373
01:06:22,866 --> 01:06:24,332
I'm sorry.
1374
01:06:24,333 --> 01:06:25,898
I thought I did,
but I don't.
1375
01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:29,499
I haven't been happy
in a long time.
1376
01:06:29,500 --> 01:06:31,366
We're still doing
the same old jokes.
1377
01:06:31,367 --> 01:06:33,499
I don't even know
what's funny anymore.
1378
01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:35,165
Yes, you were there
for me
1379
01:06:35,166 --> 01:06:37,499
When my fiance was embedded
in the ground--
1380
01:06:37,499 --> 01:06:39,032
Still is.
1381
01:06:39,033 --> 01:06:40,032
And still is.
1382
01:06:40,033 --> 01:06:41,598
You say you want
a girlfriend.
1383
01:06:41,599 --> 01:06:45,165
When was the last time
you had a date?
1384
01:06:45,166 --> 01:06:47,099
Rebecca, the hostess,
1385
01:06:47,100 --> 01:06:50,232
She is dying
to go out with you.
1386
01:06:50,233 --> 01:06:51,999
How many signals
do you need?
1387
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,631
So our marriage
is over?
1388
01:07:03,266 --> 01:07:04,299
It's okay.
1389
01:07:07,266 --> 01:07:10,798
Maybe you're right.
1390
01:07:10,799 --> 01:07:13,265
I know I'm right,
buddy.
1391
01:07:14,466 --> 01:07:18,165
her little baby boy.
1392
01:07:18,166 --> 01:07:21,898
I think I should get in touch
with my sister.
1393
01:07:21,899 --> 01:07:24,432
I'm sure she'd love
to hear from you.
1394
01:07:25,799 --> 01:07:29,498
1395
01:07:29,499 --> 01:07:33,565
1396
01:07:33,566 --> 01:07:41,366
uneasy injustice.
1397
01:07:41,367 --> 01:07:45,665
I'm on my own.
1398
01:07:49,100 --> 01:07:52,032
all alone.
1399
01:07:52,033 --> 01:07:54,332
God, this so crazy.
1400
01:07:55,899 --> 01:07:57,732
I've never felt
so alive.
1401
01:07:57,733 --> 01:08:03,632
we call home.
1402
01:08:50,933 --> 01:08:53,865
Jeff, wha--what are you
doing here?
1403
01:08:53,866 --> 01:08:55,431
Gretchen.
1404
01:08:55,432 --> 01:08:57,532
Hey, I--I was in
the neighborhood.
1405
01:08:57,533 --> 01:09:00,732
I thought I'd come by
and take a shit.
1406
01:09:00,733 --> 01:09:02,332
You know, it's not really
a good time.
1407
01:09:02,333 --> 01:09:03,598
Why don't you
come by tomorrow?
1408
01:09:03,599 --> 01:09:05,798
Can I come in
just for five minutes?
1409
01:09:05,799 --> 01:09:07,365
Tomorrow, I might not
need to shit.
1410
01:09:07,366 --> 01:09:09,798
Gretchen,
who's at the door?
1411
01:09:09,799 --> 01:09:12,065
Oh, Jeff,
1412
01:09:12,066 --> 01:09:15,665
You know
newsman Jim Stansel.
1413
01:09:15,666 --> 01:09:17,232
So are you
and Jim--
1414
01:09:17,233 --> 01:09:19,032
Yeah, yeah.
1415
01:09:19,033 --> 01:09:20,099
Yeah.
1416
01:09:20,100 --> 01:09:21,999
How's--how's Liz?
1417
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:23,965
Good, good.
1418
01:09:23,966 --> 01:09:25,698
We're looking
for a new pony, actually.
1419
01:09:25,699 --> 01:09:30,465
Oh, a pony
can be delightful.
1420
01:09:30,466 --> 01:09:31,765
Listen, Jeff.
1421
01:09:31,766 --> 01:09:33,365
Like I said, this is really
not a good time
1422
01:09:33,366 --> 01:09:34,431
For you
to take a shit.
1423
01:09:34,432 --> 01:09:36,266
No worries.
1424
01:09:36,267 --> 01:09:37,732
It's good to see you,
Gretchen.
1425
01:09:37,733 --> 01:09:39,932
You look great.
1426
01:09:39,933 --> 01:09:41,266
You always look great.
1427
01:09:41,267 --> 01:09:44,065
You look tired.
1428
01:09:44,066 --> 01:09:45,232
Are you taking
your fish oil?
1429
01:09:45,233 --> 01:09:46,398
Gretchen,
god damn it.
1430
01:09:46,399 --> 01:09:47,798
Could I talk to you
for five seconds
1431
01:09:47,799 --> 01:09:49,832
Without you hammering me
about my goddamn fish oil?
1432
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,665
Fine!
Ruin your fucking skin.
1433
01:09:51,666 --> 01:09:53,932
I'm getting my Omega 3
fatty acids, okay?
1434
01:09:53,933 --> 01:09:55,932
I'm just not taking it
in the form of fish oil.
1435
01:09:55,933 --> 01:09:58,266
This is why.
1436
01:09:58,267 --> 01:10:01,331
Yeah, this is why.
1437
01:10:01,332 --> 01:10:04,232
Have a good life,
Jeff.
1438
01:10:04,233 --> 01:10:06,166
You too, Gretchen.
1439
01:10:11,900 --> 01:10:13,832
You too.
1440
01:10:17,499 --> 01:10:19,498
Here's the, uh--
1441
01:10:58,599 --> 01:11:00,498
Hey,
new guy's awake.
1442
01:11:00,499 --> 01:11:02,132
What a night.
My head is throbbing.
1443
01:11:02,133 --> 01:11:05,532
I'm definitely gonna need
some more heroin.
1444
01:11:05,533 --> 01:11:08,032
I know what you need, kid.
1445
01:11:08,033 --> 01:11:10,432
You need
a lying Rhino.
1446
01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:13,465
Looks just like
the regular shit.
1447
01:11:13,466 --> 01:11:14,999
Why do you call it
"lying Rhino?"
1448
01:11:16,232 --> 01:11:17,832
That's a good question.
1449
01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:20,465
And there is a story,
my friend.
1450
01:11:20,466 --> 01:11:24,166
The lying Rhino
truly existed--
1451
01:11:24,167 --> 01:11:25,199
and he was a liar.
1452
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,398
hold on a second.
1453
01:11:26,399 --> 01:11:28,331
Before he was a liar,
he was living
1454
01:11:28,332 --> 01:11:30,532
On the lower east side
of New York City.
1455
01:11:30,533 --> 01:11:31,965
no, no.
1456
01:11:31,966 --> 01:11:34,032
The story starts way before
he moved to New York.
1457
01:11:34,033 --> 01:11:36,032
are you gonna tell
the story, or am I?
1458
01:11:36,033 --> 01:11:37,832
tell the story.
Who's stopping you?
1459
01:11:37,833 --> 01:11:39,665
the first lying Rhino story
1460
01:11:39,666 --> 01:11:41,665
Was how he dropped out
of high school.
1461
01:11:41,666 --> 01:11:45,032
Now he's working as a locksmith
in Washington, D.C.
1462
01:11:45,033 --> 01:11:47,099
Suffice it to say, he wasn't
the greatest locksmith.
1463
01:11:47,100 --> 01:11:48,732
he was terrible.
1464
01:11:48,733 --> 01:11:51,432
primarily because
he didn't have any fingers.
1465
01:11:51,433 --> 01:11:53,099
You want
your fucking door open?
1466
01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:54,598
Here.
1467
01:11:54,599 --> 01:11:56,565
You'll pay for that,
Rhino!
1468
01:11:58,766 --> 01:12:00,965
so that's why they call this
the lying Rhino?
1469
01:12:00,966 --> 01:12:03,066
oh, no, no,
there's more to the story.
1470
01:12:03,067 --> 01:12:04,398
A few years later,
1471
01:12:04,399 --> 01:12:06,699
The Rhino was working
as a street hustler.
1472
01:12:06,700 --> 01:12:07,865
Give me a second,
huh?
1473
01:12:07,866 --> 01:12:09,532
I don't have all night.
1474
01:12:09,533 --> 01:12:10,899
Does that thing work
or what?
1475
01:12:10,900 --> 01:12:14,066
Stop talking to me
and let me concentrate.
1476
01:12:14,067 --> 01:12:15,732
You know what?
Forget it.
1477
01:12:15,733 --> 01:12:16,799
Forget it.
Forget this.
1478
01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:19,231
God,
what is with people?
1479
01:12:19,232 --> 01:12:21,832
this guy couldn't keep a job.
1480
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:23,665
Then one night,
he gets a gig
1481
01:12:23,666 --> 01:12:26,732
Playing piano
in a poolside jazz band.
1482
01:12:30,033 --> 01:12:31,365
Take it,
Rhino.
1483
01:12:31,366 --> 01:12:32,832
And two, three, four.
1484
01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:35,699
You're fired!
1485
01:12:35,700 --> 01:12:36,765
What?
1486
01:12:36,766 --> 01:12:38,198
'cause I feel passion
for this?
1487
01:12:40,866 --> 01:12:42,899
oh!
1488
01:12:49,166 --> 01:12:50,865
you see that bee
over there?
1489
01:12:50,866 --> 01:12:52,265
Yeah.
1490
01:12:52,266 --> 01:12:53,899
You know what I heard?
1491
01:12:53,900 --> 01:12:55,565
He's a card-carrying member
1492
01:12:55,566 --> 01:12:59,665
Of the organization
for white racial purity.
1493
01:12:59,666 --> 01:13:02,532
Yeah,
he's a white supremist.
1494
01:13:02,533 --> 01:13:03,832
Yeah?
1495
01:13:03,833 --> 01:13:04,932
I shit you not.
1496
01:13:04,933 --> 01:13:06,999
Hey, guess what I hear
about the bee.
1497
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:08,498
I hear
he's a white supremist.
1498
01:13:09,499 --> 01:13:12,799
I heard what you
been saying.
1499
01:13:12,800 --> 01:13:15,066
Oh, my wing!
Hey! Ow.
1500
01:13:15,067 --> 01:13:17,599
the Rhino finally found
something he was good at:
1501
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,599
Spreading lies.
1502
01:13:20,733 --> 01:13:23,432
Hey, I hear she sucked
some guy's balls
1503
01:13:23,433 --> 01:13:24,799
At her bachelorette
party.
1504
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:25,799
Oh!
1505
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:26,932
Did you hear
about mama owl?
1506
01:13:26,933 --> 01:13:29,365
She's on meds
for her busted cervix.
1507
01:13:29,366 --> 01:13:30,498
I'd stay away
1508
01:13:30,499 --> 01:13:32,131
From saint Geraldine's
nursery school.
1509
01:13:32,132 --> 01:13:35,465
Word is the principal there
likes to fuck all the kids.
1510
01:13:35,466 --> 01:13:37,165
Rhino was on top of the world.
1511
01:13:37,166 --> 01:13:38,966
Hey, Rhino, baby,
give me some dirt.
1512
01:13:38,967 --> 01:13:39,999
Yo, Rhino,
what's up?
1513
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:41,465
I heard you got
some new moves.
1514
01:13:41,466 --> 01:13:43,365
Uh, I was wondering
if you had anything
1515
01:13:43,366 --> 01:13:44,498
You'd like to tell me.
1516
01:13:44,499 --> 01:13:45,865
but it wasn't long
1517
01:13:45,866 --> 01:13:48,699
Before everyone
caught on to his lies.
1518
01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:49,832
Get out of here,
Rhino.
1519
01:13:49,833 --> 01:13:51,565
Hey, talk to somebody
who cares.
1520
01:13:51,566 --> 01:13:53,165
Liar, liar.
1521
01:13:53,166 --> 01:13:54,865
Get the fuck
out of here!
1522
01:13:54,866 --> 01:13:57,165
Hey, Darrell,
my man.
1523
01:13:57,166 --> 01:13:58,899
Did you hear what happened
to the lizard?
1524
01:13:58,900 --> 01:14:01,098
Did you hear what happened
to your face?
1525
01:14:01,099 --> 01:14:02,165
Ow!
1526
01:14:02,166 --> 01:14:03,498
Oh!
1527
01:14:03,499 --> 01:14:04,599
Oof!
1528
01:14:07,166 --> 01:14:09,098
Splat!
1529
01:14:09,099 --> 01:14:12,032
so one day, he's out
collecting VHS tapes,
1530
01:14:12,033 --> 01:14:13,365
And he hears something:
1531
01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:16,165
Weiner dogs,
evil weiner dogs.
1532
01:14:16,166 --> 01:14:18,966
And they're all
secretly infecting themselves
1533
01:14:18,967 --> 01:14:22,165
With a deadly
sexually transmitted disease.
1534
01:14:22,166 --> 01:14:23,899
And they're planning
to start an orgy
1535
01:14:23,900 --> 01:14:25,732
And infect
the whole town.
1536
01:14:25,733 --> 01:14:29,265
so the Rhino wants
to warn everybody.
1537
01:14:29,266 --> 01:14:30,732
Wait a minute.
1538
01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:32,532
Why don't these weiner dogs
die from the deadly disease?
1539
01:14:35,533 --> 01:14:36,832
They're immune to it.
1540
01:14:36,833 --> 01:14:40,799
Everybody, do not have sex
with the weiner dogs.
1541
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:43,832
They're planning
a deadly weiner dog sex orgy.
1542
01:14:43,833 --> 01:14:44,899
Come on.
1543
01:14:44,900 --> 01:14:45,999
You never
tell the truth.
1544
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:46,999
You always lie.
1545
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:48,665
Why should we
believe you?
1546
01:14:48,666 --> 01:14:50,498
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
1547
01:14:50,499 --> 01:14:52,332
Let's have sex
with each other.
1548
01:14:52,333 --> 01:14:53,932
Hmm, I don't know.
1549
01:14:53,933 --> 01:14:56,866
Who you gonna believe,
Rhino or weiner dog?
1550
01:15:27,399 --> 01:15:28,866
so what happened to him?
1551
01:15:28,867 --> 01:15:31,832
he moved back to Portland,
lost a lot of weight,
1552
01:15:31,833 --> 01:15:34,098
Started wearing
these terrible short shorts,
1553
01:15:34,099 --> 01:15:35,699
And eventually
started dealing heroin.
1554
01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,098
Thanks, man.
1555
01:15:37,099 --> 01:15:39,232
so why do you call
the stuff "lying Rhino?"
1556
01:15:39,233 --> 01:15:41,031
Because he delivers it here
1557
01:15:41,032 --> 01:15:42,499
Every day.
1558
01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:43,499
Gentlemen.
1559
01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:44,499
Rhino!
1560
01:15:46,299 --> 01:15:47,332
Later on,
my friends.
1561
01:15:47,333 --> 01:15:48,632
That's the Rhino?
1562
01:15:52,733 --> 01:15:54,599
this is the place.
1563
01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:56,532
Not much to look at.
1564
01:15:56,533 --> 01:15:58,398
What you see
is what you get.
1565
01:15:58,399 --> 01:16:00,465
Well, what do you expect
for $850 a month,
1566
01:16:00,466 --> 01:16:02,932
The inner--
1567
01:16:02,933 --> 01:16:04,766
What you see
is what you get.
1568
01:16:04,767 --> 01:16:06,899
Well, what do you expect
for $850 a month,
1569
01:16:06,900 --> 01:16:09,031
The International Space Station
Mir out there
1570
01:16:09,032 --> 01:16:11,599
Over there
in outer space?
1571
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:14,132
I'll take it, Mr.--
1572
01:16:14,133 --> 01:16:16,165
Dalton,
Timothy Dalton.
1573
01:16:16,166 --> 01:16:18,065
Like 007, right?
1574
01:16:18,066 --> 01:16:19,665
That's right.
1575
01:16:22,266 --> 01:16:24,132
Here's the keys.
1576
01:16:41,767 --> 01:16:43,732
Hey.
1577
01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:46,365
Hey.
1578
01:16:46,366 --> 01:16:47,365
No.
1579
01:16:47,366 --> 01:16:48,399
Come on.
1580
01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:49,766
Sorry.
1581
01:16:56,032 --> 01:16:58,098
how have you been?
1582
01:16:58,099 --> 01:17:01,365
We talked
at the same time.
1583
01:17:01,366 --> 01:17:02,432
How's Liz doing?
1584
01:17:02,433 --> 01:17:04,298
Oh, we broke up.
1585
01:17:04,299 --> 01:17:05,499
She was too young.
1586
01:17:05,500 --> 01:17:07,399
How's Jim Stansel?
1587
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:09,799
No, it didn't
work out.
1588
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:11,165
His penis
was too big.
1589
01:17:11,166 --> 01:17:13,599
I mean, it was great
for a while.
1590
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,332
I mean, god,
it was so great.
1591
01:17:16,333 --> 01:17:17,865
Sometimes I just
think about him
1592
01:17:17,866 --> 01:17:20,365
And I--I have
a little orgasm.
1593
01:17:20,366 --> 01:17:22,032
Oh.
1594
01:17:22,033 --> 01:17:23,532
Let me see.
1595
01:17:23,533 --> 01:17:24,665
No.
1596
01:17:24,666 --> 01:17:26,898
Oh, wait.
1597
01:17:26,899 --> 01:17:28,332
Yup,
there we go.
1598
01:17:30,266 --> 01:17:33,032
But, you know,
it didn't work out.
1599
01:17:33,033 --> 01:17:34,766
Anyway,
where are you living?
1600
01:17:34,767 --> 01:17:36,465
Uh, I got
this new place.
1601
01:17:36,466 --> 01:17:38,965
It's an empty black void
with the stone tablets.
1602
01:17:38,966 --> 01:17:40,432
Right. Right.
1603
01:17:40,433 --> 01:17:42,198
Good to see
you haven't changed.
1604
01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:46,732
Gretchen, I never got
the chance to apologize
1605
01:17:46,733 --> 01:17:51,165
About the whole
"go fly a kite" thing.
1606
01:17:51,166 --> 01:17:53,332
It was way
out-of-bounds.
1607
01:17:53,333 --> 01:17:54,699
No one should ever
say that to you,
1608
01:17:54,700 --> 01:17:57,565
Not after what happened
with you
1609
01:17:57,566 --> 01:18:00,998
And the kite
and your brother.
1610
01:18:00,999 --> 01:18:04,699
Thank you.
1611
01:18:04,700 --> 01:18:08,599
Would you maybe want to grab
a cup of coffee?
1612
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,998
Oh, I'd love to,
but after Liz and I broke up,
1613
01:18:10,999 --> 01:18:12,232
I got married,
1614
01:18:12,233 --> 01:18:14,232
And I don't want to make
the same mistake twice.
1615
01:18:14,233 --> 01:18:17,332
You know, adultery.
1616
01:18:17,333 --> 01:18:19,898
Oh, who are you
married to?
1617
01:18:19,899 --> 01:18:21,599
Dianne Wiest.
It's great.
1618
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:22,798
Wow.
1619
01:18:22,799 --> 01:18:24,265
I loved her
in bullets over Broadway.
1620
01:18:24,266 --> 01:18:26,265
Oh, yeah, she's really proud
of that one.
1621
01:18:26,266 --> 01:18:28,666
And the Oscar
didn't hurt either.
1622
01:18:28,667 --> 01:18:30,798
Plus, the residual checks
come in handy.
1623
01:18:30,799 --> 01:18:32,666
It's like, "thanks, Woody,"
you know?
1624
01:18:32,667 --> 01:18:34,898
Right.
1625
01:18:34,899 --> 01:18:35,898
It was good
to see you.
1626
01:18:35,899 --> 01:18:36,931
You too.
1627
01:18:36,932 --> 01:18:39,465
Yeah.
1628
01:18:55,433 --> 01:18:57,098
Oh, Gretchen,
I love you so much.
1629
01:18:57,099 --> 01:18:58,098
I want you back.
1630
01:18:58,099 --> 01:18:59,599
Yes--oh, no.
1631
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:00,732
What about
Dianne Wiest?
1632
01:19:00,733 --> 01:19:02,932
Oh, fuck me.
1633
01:19:02,933 --> 01:19:07,399
I'm gonna call her
and tell her it's over.
1634
01:19:08,533 --> 01:19:10,165
Dianne.
1635
01:19:10,166 --> 01:19:13,232
Hey, how are you?
1636
01:19:13,233 --> 01:19:14,399
What's that?
1637
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:16,765
160 bucks?
1638
01:19:16,766 --> 01:19:17,998
Wow.
1639
01:19:17,999 --> 01:19:20,032
It's more like Hannah
and her dollars.
1640
01:19:20,033 --> 01:19:22,432
I know.
Terrible joke.
1641
01:19:22,433 --> 01:19:25,232
Look, I've got
some bad news.
1642
01:19:25,233 --> 01:19:28,998
I ran into my ex-wife,
Gretchen, and--
1643
01:19:28,999 --> 01:19:32,599
Well, how do I put this?
1644
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:36,332
Oh, Dianne.
I'm so sorry.
1645
01:19:36,333 --> 01:19:37,632
Really?
1646
01:19:37,633 --> 01:19:41,065
Oh, I--
Dianne, you're great.
1647
01:19:41,066 --> 01:19:43,432
We gave it a good run.
1648
01:19:43,433 --> 01:19:46,765
So I'll have my lawyer
send over the papers, okay?
1649
01:19:46,766 --> 01:19:48,532
Uh-huh.
All right.
1650
01:19:48,533 --> 01:19:49,898
I will.
1651
01:19:49,899 --> 01:19:51,731
All right.
Got to go.
1652
01:19:51,732 --> 01:19:52,831
Yeah, okay.
1653
01:19:52,832 --> 01:19:53,865
All right.
Okay.
1654
01:19:53,866 --> 01:19:55,532
Yeah, got to go.
1655
01:19:55,533 --> 01:19:56,998
Dianne, I have to go.
1656
01:19:56,999 --> 01:19:58,399
Okay.
1657
01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,599
All right. Bye.
1658
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:01,666
We're good.
1659
01:20:01,667 --> 01:20:02,599
Oh!
1660
01:20:14,866 --> 01:20:17,432
"if not now, when?
1661
01:20:17,433 --> 01:20:19,998
"if not me, who?
1662
01:20:19,999 --> 01:20:23,265
If not here, where?"
1663
01:20:26,633 --> 01:20:27,998
let's go, Oliver.
1664
01:20:27,999 --> 01:20:29,332
We're gonna be late
for church.
1665
01:20:29,333 --> 01:20:31,499
The kids are already
in the car.
1666
01:20:33,266 --> 01:20:35,032
Oh, god,
Gloria.
1667
01:20:35,033 --> 01:20:36,365
I'm really sick.
1668
01:20:36,366 --> 01:20:39,432
I think I might have
a touch of food poisoning.
1669
01:20:39,433 --> 01:20:40,898
You should just go ahead
without me.
1670
01:20:40,899 --> 01:20:42,465
Okay.
1671
01:20:44,266 --> 01:20:45,465
Get some rest.
1672
01:20:45,466 --> 01:20:46,832
Okay.
1673
01:20:52,699 --> 01:20:54,432
You deserve
an MTV Moon Man Award
1674
01:20:54,433 --> 01:20:56,132
For that performance.
1675
01:20:56,133 --> 01:20:58,998
Three hours
to do anything I want.
1676
01:21:08,099 --> 01:21:10,199
Huh.
1677
01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:14,898
Well, I guess I could
if I wanted.
1678
01:21:26,233 --> 01:21:27,365
Completely naked?
1679
01:21:27,366 --> 01:21:29,232
Totally nude,
my friend.
1680
01:21:29,233 --> 01:21:30,631
The whole time
they were at church?
1681
01:21:30,632 --> 01:21:31,698
All morning.
1682
01:21:31,699 --> 01:21:34,065
Most intriguing,
Oliver.
1683
01:21:35,567 --> 01:21:36,998
So why don't you come by
this Sunday?
1684
01:21:36,999 --> 01:21:37,998
We can be naked
together.
1685
01:21:37,999 --> 01:21:39,065
What am I supposed
to tell Jeanie?
1686
01:21:39,066 --> 01:21:40,165
Make up an excuse.
1687
01:21:40,166 --> 01:21:41,765
Already got mine
lined up for this week.
1688
01:21:41,766 --> 01:21:42,765
What is it?
1689
01:21:42,766 --> 01:21:43,765
Bulimia.
1690
01:21:43,766 --> 01:21:45,032
Nice.
1691
01:21:45,033 --> 01:21:46,032
So is this a gay thing?
1692
01:21:46,033 --> 01:21:47,532
No.
1693
01:21:47,533 --> 01:21:48,865
No, man.
1694
01:21:48,866 --> 01:21:50,265
I'm straight
as an arrow.
1695
01:21:50,266 --> 01:21:52,265
I mean, sure, I blew
a few sailors in the '80s,
1696
01:21:52,266 --> 01:21:53,832
But that was the '80s.
1697
01:21:53,833 --> 01:21:55,466
I mean, I still can't
for the life of me
1698
01:21:55,467 --> 01:21:57,199
Figure out how to solve
that Rubik's cube.
1699
01:21:57,200 --> 01:21:58,832
No, this is just
a couple straight guys
1700
01:21:58,833 --> 01:22:01,165
Skipping church
to hang out naked.
1701
01:22:01,166 --> 01:22:02,265
I don't know,
Oliver.
1702
01:22:02,266 --> 01:22:03,566
It's not really
my cup of tea.
1703
01:22:03,567 --> 01:22:05,065
Cut to "ding-dong!"
1704
01:22:05,066 --> 01:22:06,299
I mean, actually,
it would be--
1705
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,399
Hey, man.
1706
01:22:11,400 --> 01:22:12,399
Whoa.
1707
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:13,732
Glad you changed
your mind.
1708
01:22:13,733 --> 01:22:14,932
You are really naked.
1709
01:22:14,933 --> 01:22:16,099
I mean,
you weren't kidding.
1710
01:22:16,100 --> 01:22:17,132
Yeah.
1711
01:22:17,133 --> 01:22:18,732
And there's your penis,
1712
01:22:18,733 --> 01:22:20,565
And I guess those
are your balls,
1713
01:22:20,566 --> 01:22:22,865
And I'm gonna guess your ass
is around the back there.
1714
01:22:22,866 --> 01:22:24,798
That's exactly right.
1715
01:22:24,799 --> 01:22:26,965
Why don't you come on in,
take off your clothes?
1716
01:22:26,966 --> 01:22:27,898
Okay.
1717
01:22:29,467 --> 01:22:30,532
Musky smell.
1718
01:22:30,533 --> 01:22:32,565
Those are my natural
pheromes.
1719
01:22:38,033 --> 01:22:40,165
Hey, man,
I got to tell you,
1720
01:22:40,166 --> 01:22:42,299
I thought this
was gonna be pretty good.
1721
01:22:42,300 --> 01:22:44,965
But this is pretty good.
1722
01:22:44,966 --> 01:22:47,565
It's pretty good,
right?
1723
01:22:47,566 --> 01:22:49,399
You know, I got
all these CDs over here.
1724
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:50,898
You want to listen
to something?
1725
01:22:50,899 --> 01:22:52,598
You got any
Roberta Flack?
1726
01:22:52,599 --> 01:22:53,598
Are you kidding me?
1727
01:22:53,599 --> 01:22:55,232
I'm a Flack freak.
1728
01:22:55,233 --> 01:22:56,965
What do you want
to listen to?
1729
01:22:56,966 --> 01:22:58,366
Killing me softly?
1730
01:22:58,367 --> 01:23:00,798
That's a little
Flack 101.
1731
01:23:00,799 --> 01:23:04,265
Why don't we go
a little deeper?
1732
01:23:04,266 --> 01:23:05,399
How about this?
1733
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:07,798
Greatest hits,
track two.
1734
01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:14,832
1735
01:23:14,833 --> 01:23:17,631
turn to spring.
1736
01:23:17,632 --> 01:23:19,332
I dig her silky vocals.
1737
01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:21,665
Yeah, and the jazzy
rhythm guitar
1738
01:23:21,666 --> 01:23:24,631
And light percussion
that wafts throughout.
1739
01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:25,965
Oof.
1740
01:23:25,966 --> 01:23:27,965
Fluid sounds.
1741
01:23:27,966 --> 01:23:29,165
Urbane.
1742
01:23:29,166 --> 01:23:32,165
Mm, contemporary flavor.
1743
01:23:32,166 --> 01:23:35,199
Holds a degree
from Howard University.
1744
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:36,865
That was just--
1745
01:23:36,866 --> 01:23:37,965
That was great.
1746
01:23:37,966 --> 01:23:39,232
Yeah.
Yeah,
had a great time.
1747
01:23:39,233 --> 01:23:41,199
Well, why don't you
come back next Sunday?
1748
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:42,366
I don't know.
1749
01:23:42,367 --> 01:23:43,765
I mean, I might feel
a little guilty
1750
01:23:43,766 --> 01:23:44,865
If I keep
missing church.
1751
01:23:44,866 --> 01:23:47,332
Marty, god doesn't
necessarily want us
1752
01:23:47,333 --> 01:23:49,498
To go to church
every Sunday.
1753
01:23:49,499 --> 01:23:51,199
Keeping the sabbath
might just mean
1754
01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:53,099
Taking a weekly break
from our normal life
1755
01:23:53,100 --> 01:23:55,399
And celebrating
his great creation.
1756
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:57,565
And what greater manifestation
of his creation is there
1757
01:23:57,566 --> 01:23:58,898
Than the body human?
1758
01:23:58,899 --> 01:24:02,199
For my money, it's just as holy
for us to come over here
1759
01:24:02,200 --> 01:24:04,065
And swing our balls
around
1760
01:24:04,066 --> 01:24:06,432
And pump up
the Roberta Flack.
1761
01:24:06,433 --> 01:24:08,465
You know what?
You make a great point.
1762
01:24:08,466 --> 01:24:10,565
I do have one question,
though.
1763
01:24:10,566 --> 01:24:12,065
How many other guys
should I invite?
1764
01:24:12,066 --> 01:24:15,299
1765
01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:16,632
1766
01:24:17,633 --> 01:24:19,065
hey, I just took a dump
1767
01:24:19,066 --> 01:24:21,065
And didn't have
to pull my pants down.
1768
01:24:21,066 --> 01:24:22,266
Or up, right?
1769
01:24:22,267 --> 01:24:23,432
Correctamundo
1770
01:24:23,432 --> 01:24:25,598
Hey, who invited
Henry Winkler?
1771
01:24:25,599 --> 01:24:26,598
eh.
1772
01:24:26,599 --> 01:24:28,865
Oh, great.
A room full of Fonzie's.
1773
01:24:28,866 --> 01:24:30,332
That's the last thing
I need.
1774
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:34,498
to find romance.
1775
01:24:34,499 --> 01:24:36,165
I like
the Roberta Flack.
1776
01:24:36,166 --> 01:24:38,232
How long
has that been going on?
1777
01:24:38,233 --> 01:24:39,865
As far as I know,
Flack's been de rigueur
1778
01:24:39,866 --> 01:24:40,898
Since day one.
1779
01:24:40,899 --> 01:24:42,232
Wait a minute.
Hold the phone.
1780
01:24:42,233 --> 01:24:43,932
I knew it was popular,
goal of rigor?
1781
01:24:43,933 --> 01:24:46,366
and then you get to side three,
comfortably numb,
1782
01:24:46,367 --> 01:24:48,299
And then he doesn't even
have his anger anymore.
1783
01:24:48,300 --> 01:24:50,465
Then he's completely
within his own mind,
1784
01:24:50,466 --> 01:24:52,431
Behind his own wall.
1785
01:24:55,133 --> 01:25:00,999
my love for you.
1786
01:25:06,166 --> 01:25:08,832
shining through.
1787
01:25:08,833 --> 01:25:10,065
Yeah?
1788
01:25:10,066 --> 01:25:11,266
Oliver, governor Hutchins here.
1789
01:25:11,267 --> 01:25:12,632
Church ended early today,
1790
01:25:12,633 --> 01:25:14,165
And your wife
is on her way home.
1791
01:25:15,166 --> 01:25:16,165
Let's go!
1792
01:25:16,166 --> 01:25:17,398
Jesus shit.
1793
01:25:17,399 --> 01:25:18,932
Fuck!
1794
01:25:30,966 --> 01:25:32,332
They're here.
They're here!
1795
01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:33,266
What do we do?
1796
01:25:39,233 --> 01:25:40,332
Hi, dad.
1797
01:25:40,333 --> 01:25:41,632
How's your gangrene?
1798
01:25:41,633 --> 01:25:42,732
Much better.
1799
01:25:42,733 --> 01:25:44,999
Oliver, is something
going on here?
1800
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:46,532
No.
1801
01:25:46,533 --> 01:25:47,565
Why?
1802
01:25:47,566 --> 01:25:49,232
You're acting strange,
1803
01:25:49,233 --> 01:25:50,932
And I want to know
what's going on.
1804
01:25:50,933 --> 01:25:54,765
Honey, we made an oath
in front of god.
1805
01:25:54,766 --> 01:25:57,032
And you deserve
to hear the truth.
1806
01:25:57,033 --> 01:25:59,565
Fellas.
1807
01:26:03,033 --> 01:26:04,832
Every Sunday morning,
1808
01:26:04,833 --> 01:26:07,999
Dozens of men come over here
and get naked.
1809
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:09,232
I see.
1810
01:26:09,233 --> 01:26:10,698
And we never want
to go to church again.
1811
01:26:10,699 --> 01:26:12,732
What do you think
about that?
1812
01:26:12,733 --> 01:26:15,465
I'll tell you
what I think.
1813
01:26:15,466 --> 01:26:16,498
If you ever
1814
01:26:16,499 --> 01:26:19,431
Have a naked party
in my home again
1815
01:26:19,432 --> 01:26:21,431
On a Sunday,
1816
01:26:21,432 --> 01:26:23,932
You can kiss
my black ass good-bye.
1817
01:26:25,167 --> 01:26:26,166
Wait a minute, Gloria.
1818
01:26:26,167 --> 01:26:27,665
Hear me out.
1819
01:26:27,666 --> 01:26:30,632
1820
01:26:30,633 --> 01:26:33,266
1821
01:26:33,267 --> 01:26:34,665
1822
01:26:34,666 --> 01:26:37,832
1823
01:26:37,833 --> 01:26:40,398
1824
01:26:40,399 --> 01:26:42,899
the poor.
1825
01:26:42,900 --> 01:26:45,331
1826
01:26:45,332 --> 01:26:47,498
fucked a whore.
1827
01:26:47,499 --> 01:26:50,298
1828
01:26:50,299 --> 01:26:53,832
we have to go pray?
1829
01:26:53,833 --> 01:26:55,365
That's the lord's way.
1830
01:26:55,366 --> 01:26:57,732
Touche.
1831
01:26:57,733 --> 01:27:00,398
felt right.
1832
01:27:00,399 --> 01:27:02,732
untrue
1833
01:27:02,733 --> 01:27:04,932
1834
01:27:04,933 --> 01:27:09,598
and the pew.
1835
01:27:09,599 --> 01:27:13,532
on the sabbath.
1836
01:27:13,533 --> 01:27:17,832
to say nay.
1837
01:27:17,833 --> 01:27:23,065
on the sabbath
1838
01:27:23,066 --> 01:27:26,598
to Roberta Flack.
1839
01:27:26,599 --> 01:27:30,765
and our rectums.
1840
01:27:30,766 --> 01:27:35,532
we have shown.
1841
01:27:35,533 --> 01:27:37,665
and our taints
1842
01:27:37,666 --> 01:27:39,665
as a saint's
1843
01:27:39,666 --> 01:27:43,865
1844
01:27:43,866 --> 01:27:47,999
in stone.
1845
01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:52,231
in stone.
1846
01:27:53,733 --> 01:27:55,832
1847
01:27:55,833 --> 01:27:57,999
You couldn't have missed them.
1848
01:27:58,000 --> 01:28:00,365
by gigantic prop tablets,
1849
01:28:00,366 --> 01:28:02,498
their wisdom.
1850
01:28:02,499 --> 01:28:04,498
betrayed my wife,
1851
01:28:04,499 --> 01:28:06,799
at least.
1852
01:28:06,800 --> 01:28:08,999
ten short stories.
1853
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:14,199
Dianne Wiest.
1854
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:18,132
with Wiest.
1855
01:28:20,900 --> 01:28:22,765
a little wooden guy.
1856
01:28:22,766 --> 01:28:24,432
in South Bayonne.
1857
01:28:24,433 --> 01:28:26,398
on scotch and rye,
1858
01:28:26,399 --> 01:28:27,832
in my inner thigh.
1859
01:28:27,833 --> 01:28:29,665
I guess that's why
1860
01:28:29,666 --> 01:28:32,099
in stone...
1861
01:28:32,100 --> 01:28:34,331
all have shown.
1862
01:28:34,332 --> 01:28:37,331
like my neighbor.
1863
01:28:37,332 --> 01:28:42,265
with my friend.
1864
01:28:42,266 --> 01:28:46,565
radiated children.
1865
01:28:46,566 --> 01:28:50,865
like sir John Glenn.
1866
01:28:50,866 --> 01:28:52,699
one of ten.
1867
01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:56,066
with the goof.
1868
01:28:56,067 --> 01:28:58,132
with the gags.
1869
01:28:58,133 --> 01:28:59,231
1870
01:28:59,232 --> 01:29:01,699
judge you too crass.
1871
01:29:01,700 --> 01:29:04,765
is on me.
1872
01:29:04,766 --> 01:29:07,465
1873
01:29:07,466 --> 01:29:11,365
stretched-out ass.
1874
01:29:12,566 --> 01:29:16,999
bruised and battered...
1875
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:19,032
1876
01:29:19,033 --> 01:29:21,565
1877
01:29:21,566 --> 01:29:23,198
1878
01:29:23,199 --> 01:29:25,865
1879
01:29:25,866 --> 01:29:31,198
1880
01:29:32,232 --> 01:29:33,865
I got a trunk butt ass!
1881
01:29:33,866 --> 01:29:37,865
in Mexico,
1882
01:29:37,866 --> 01:29:40,198
how hard I'd fall.
1883
01:29:40,199 --> 01:29:43,131
the story's fictional.
1884
01:29:43,132 --> 01:29:46,932
is Gretchen Mol.
1885
01:29:46,933 --> 01:29:48,598
1886
01:29:48,599 --> 01:29:50,032
1887
01:29:50,033 --> 01:29:51,932
1888
01:29:53,766 --> 01:29:58,432
in his trailer.
1889
01:29:58,433 --> 01:30:01,365
but his socks.
1890
01:30:01,366 --> 01:30:05,066
you kids would be paler.
1891
01:30:05,067 --> 01:30:07,999
have straighter locks.
1892
01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:08,999
1893
01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:11,532
So what does
it all mean?
1894
01:30:11,533 --> 01:30:13,899
it all about?
1895
01:30:13,900 --> 01:30:16,332
add up to?
1896
01:30:16,333 --> 01:30:20,231
figured it out?
1897
01:30:20,232 --> 01:30:21,398
tell us!
1898
01:30:21,399 --> 01:30:22,599
1899
01:30:22,600 --> 01:30:24,332
1900
01:30:24,333 --> 01:30:26,665
Put your arms
around each other!
1901
01:30:26,666 --> 01:30:28,198
1902
01:30:28,199 --> 01:30:30,198
is calling.
1903
01:30:30,199 --> 01:30:32,198
1904
01:30:32,199 --> 01:30:33,899
Everybody kissing
1905
01:30:33,900 --> 01:30:35,131
And everybody hugging, now,
come on!
1906
01:30:35,132 --> 01:30:40,532
1907
01:30:43,833 --> 01:30:47,999
1908
01:30:56,566 --> 01:30:57,565
1909
01:30:57,566 --> 01:30:58,565
1910
01:30:58,566 --> 01:30:59,899
1911
01:30:59,900 --> 01:31:00,899
1912
01:31:00,900 --> 01:31:02,432
1913
01:31:02,433 --> 01:31:06,365
1914
01:31:06,366 --> 01:31:09,198
of a number.
1915
01:31:09,199 --> 01:31:10,432
1916
01:31:10,433 --> 01:31:13,031
1-0 supply.
1917
01:31:13,032 --> 01:31:14,432
that's the Lord's way.
1918
01:31:14,433 --> 01:31:17,665
their actual order?
1919
01:31:17,666 --> 01:31:21,665
all right.
1920
01:31:21,666 --> 01:31:24,832
1921
01:31:24,833 --> 01:31:32,665
1922
01:31:32,666 --> 01:31:34,165
1923
01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:40,732
We're stuck in the ground.
1924
01:31:40,733 --> 01:31:42,365
stuck, stuck!
1925
01:31:42,366 --> 01:31:44,332
but I found fame.
1926
01:31:44,333 --> 01:31:46,365
Check out the frame.
1927
01:31:46,366 --> 01:31:48,365
to jailhouse ho.
1928
01:31:48,366 --> 01:31:50,365
it was time to go.
1929
01:31:50,366 --> 01:31:52,365
and blew up in reno.
1930
01:31:52,366 --> 01:31:54,365
what he know?
1931
01:31:54,366 --> 01:31:56,365
from the goof.
1932
01:31:56,366 --> 01:31:58,365
Redhead nuts on your roof.
1933
01:31:58,366 --> 01:32:00,365
Gretchen Mol.
1934
01:32:00,366 --> 01:32:02,298
for Arsenio hall.
1935
01:32:02,299 --> 01:32:04,365
Paul makes summertime money.
1936
01:32:04,366 --> 01:32:06,365
a ventriloquist's dummy.
1937
01:32:06,366 --> 01:32:08,365
had a Jack Russell.
1938
01:32:08,366 --> 01:32:10,365
the Ron Silver hustle.
1939
01:32:10,366 --> 01:32:12,365
I'm just a savior.
1940
01:32:12,366 --> 01:32:14,365
is what I gave ya.
1941
01:32:14,366 --> 01:32:16,365
a puppet on string.
1942
01:32:16,366 --> 01:32:18,365
that I made hard the thing.
1943
01:32:18,366 --> 01:32:20,465
Feel the sting.
1944
01:32:20,466 --> 01:32:22,432
The ten, y'all. Sing!
1945
01:32:22,433 --> 01:32:26,031
of a number.
1946
01:32:26,032 --> 01:32:29,232
are now going by.
1947
01:32:29,233 --> 01:32:30,565
1948
01:32:30,566 --> 01:32:33,665
is just about over.
1949
01:32:33,666 --> 01:32:36,432
1950
01:32:36,433 --> 01:32:38,165
1951
01:32:38,166 --> 01:32:40,499
To the end of the ten.
1952
01:32:40,500 --> 01:32:42,098
Of the ten.
1953
01:32:42,099 --> 01:32:44,265
I fear, to the end of the ten.
1954
01:32:44,266 --> 01:32:45,532
1955
01:32:45,533 --> 01:32:47,599
of the ten.
1956
01:32:47,600 --> 01:32:51,332
of the ten, I fear.
1957
01:32:51,333 --> 01:32:54,398
stood at the mirror.
1958
01:32:54,399 --> 01:33:00,098
they bloom like spring.
1959
01:33:00,099 --> 01:33:05,365
a gay thing.
1960
01:33:05,366 --> 01:33:09,232
of the ten, dear child.
1961
01:33:09,233 --> 01:33:12,332
reconciled.
1962
01:33:12,333 --> 01:33:17,532
and Dianne Wiest
1963
01:33:17,533 --> 01:33:23,232
on the street.
1964
01:33:23,233 --> 01:33:30,031
sometimes from Rhino shit.
1965
01:33:30,032 --> 01:33:36,832
is what you make of it.
1966
01:33:36,833 --> 01:33:41,699
1967
01:33:41,700 --> 01:33:45,499
of the ten, I know.
1968
01:33:45,500 --> 01:33:48,465
your average dildo.
1969
01:33:48,466 --> 01:33:54,198
speak again,
1970
01:33:54,199 --> 01:33:59,232
her best friend.
1971
01:33:59,233 --> 01:34:03,165
of the ten, John Glenn.
1972
01:34:03,166 --> 01:34:06,232
contamination don't blend,
1973
01:34:06,233 --> 01:34:12,132
wanted more.
1974
01:34:12,133 --> 01:34:17,198
dying for.
1975
01:34:17,199 --> 01:34:24,098
almost constantly.
1976
01:34:24,099 --> 01:34:30,931
where his goof did lead,
1977
01:34:30,932 --> 01:34:35,865
did lead.
1978
01:34:35,866 --> 01:34:39,532
to their creator
1979
01:34:39,533 --> 01:34:42,599
the terminator.
1980
01:34:42,600 --> 01:34:48,532
son of god,
1981
01:34:48,533 --> 01:34:53,399
1982
01:34:53,400 --> 01:34:57,332
of the ten, oh, my.
1983
01:34:57,333 --> 01:35:00,232
out of the sky
1984
01:35:00,233 --> 01:35:06,299
down in the ground.
1985
01:35:06,300 --> 01:35:09,132
1986
01:35:09,133 --> 01:35:10,965
how does he defecate?
I don't know.
1987
01:35:10,966 --> 01:35:14,032
sometimes grows
1988
01:35:14,033 --> 01:35:18,299
1989
01:35:18,300 --> 01:35:24,798
is what you make of it,
1990
01:35:24,799 --> 01:35:30,232
of it.
1991
01:35:47,633 --> 01:35:50,831
of the end of the ten.
1992
01:35:50,832 --> 01:35:53,699
What a bunch
of fucking assholes.
1993
01:35:53,700 --> 01:35:54,699
Damn.
1994
01:35:57,697 --> 01:36:00,194
Subtitles Extracted By
LeapinLar